How to Tell Your Mom You’re Dating a SoundCloud Artist
December 8, 2020 at 1:03 am
We’ve all been there, fallen in love with a forbidden SoundCloud artist. But how do we break the news to our parents? I’m here to say that I survived that conversation with my mother. For all of you out there in the same situation, here’s how I told her:
I want you to be happy for me now that I’ve found my Prince Charming. I know you’re a bit concerned that he’s not on a ~conventional~ path, but I don’t care. You’ve always told me to find myself a businessman or lawyer, someone with ambition and the desire to own two pairs of pants; however, I don’t think that’s what’s truly important in life. I want someone with a creative soul. Sure, my true love may never have healthcare, a place to live legally, socks without holes in them, and the ability to afford a haircut and vegetables, but that silly stuff doesn’t matter to me anymore. When I listen to his remixes of The Dixie Chicks and The Wiggles, I swoon. I know one day, he’s going to make it big, and I want to be standing next to him when he accepts a Grammy for his hit cover of Tik Tok sung by himself and five random children he found on the street. He’s a tortured artist. SoundCloud and his DJing serves as a platform for him to come to terms with his heartbreak: he was only salutatorian in high school, his brother goes to Princeton, and he is from the Philly ‘burbs instead of the actual city. He knows what real struggle is, and you can feel it in his music. Mom, all I’ve ever wanted to do is make you proud. I hope that you’re supportive, come to accept him into our family, and don’t mind if he occasionally showers in our house.
Mrs. DJ $wizzleTizzle