Instagram to Add Warning Before Any Happy Couple Post

Trigger warnings can be helpful when you just don’t want to deal with the shittiness of reality. From disturbing news videos to naked women, warnings protect young children and adults approaching their wits' end. Finally Instagram has decided to warn us about the horrors of that 19-year-old Catholic high school couple that got engaged by adding trigger warnings before the post. The warning text reads “Happy couple alert! They might be kissing, holding hands, or proposing. Are you sure you’re mentally stable enough to feel the weight of your own loneliness?” Now instead of facing the reality that you haven’t felt another human touch since 2018, you can simply bottle your emotions! It’s a trick that white, WASP-y families have mastered centuries ago. 

With Valentine's Day around the corner, this time of year can be a challenge on the ugly and subsequently lonely motherfuckers. Instagram has decided now is the time to take a stand against pretty people being happily in love just in the nick of time. Couples are sure to see the likes on their posts drop and wonder, What just happened? Maybe it’ll even make them worry that they lost their hotness or that all their friends hate them. Sure some may think that this seems unnecessarily petty, but certainly isn’t being bitter better than being happy anyway?