Amy Gutmann Vows to Achieve Net-Zero Salary Increase by 2050

In a brilliant display of leadership and selflessness, Amy Gutmann has announced a net-zero salary increase goal for herself by the end of 2050. After years of taking on larger and larger paychecks, Gutmann has decided that she is ready to begin the process stepping back from her role as top breadwinner on campus. The stress of handling and transferring such massive amounts of money into her bank accounts have begun to take a toll on her mental health and her ability to act as a campus leader when the students need her. As a result, she will be seeking to find other ways to spread this saved money to other programs on campus that need it. One such long-term project will be the construction of a campus monument built to resemble our current president and offer comfort to students who find themselves wondering where their family’s hard-earned money is going.

“At the end of the day, I’m not doing this as a meaningless gesture. I’m not doing this because people have constantly asked me why I’ve refused to take pay-freezes or pay-cuts. I’m doing this because I want to show the students of Penn that sometimes, you have to be selfless and give back to your community,” remarked Gutmann as she boarded a helicopter headed to her second beach home. "I also want to reiterate to everyone the importance of starting small. If we take a big problem and tackle it little by little, in 29 years, we really may achieve something truly special."