OP-ED: Wanna See a Card Trick?

Hey. Wanna see a card trick? Sure you do.

Pick a card, any card.

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯

You got one? Great.

▯

Look at it, memorize it, don't let me see it.

Okay, now put it back into the deck. Face down, yeah.

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

Thank you. Now just watch as I give these cards a shuffle:

▯ ▯ ▯▯  ▯   ▯▯ ▯ ▯▯  ▯▯ ▯  

There.

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

It's your turn now. Cut the cards anywhere you'd like.

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯          ▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

Complete the cut, please.

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

Would you agree that your card is completely lost in the deck? Awesome.

Now, watch carefully as your card magically travels...

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

...from wherever it is...

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

...all the way...

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

...to the top.

▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯▯ 

Is this your card?

▯

It isn't? Damn, is it this one?

▯

You're joking, right? No, that's definitely your card.

▯

Really?

▯

Well, shit.

▯

Really?

▯

Alright, office hours are over. Go home, everyone.