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Incel to Give Up Sex for Lent


Photo by Vinoth Chandar via Flickr / CC BY 2.0

College junior and incel Jared More recently announced he’d be giving up sex for lent this year. More, both a devout Catholic and a member of the involuntary celibate community, will not be having sex during this year’s Lenten season.

More is ecstatic at the opportunity to not have sex on his own terms. Instead of society deeming him undesirable and unworthy of getting intimate with another human being, More will not be fucking to honor his Savior Jesus Christ instead.

He is excited to make the exciting transition from incel to volcel for Lent – and resume being an incel once Easter comes around.

“I’ve been an incel for twenty years of my life,” said More, “and I’m excited to finally try out voluntary celibacy for this important time of the Liturgical year.”

More is excited for the Easter season to cum around. “It’s been very stressful for me to not have sex because I don’t want to rather than because people are disgusted by me. I’m so excited to get back to being hated by society once Jesus rises again on Easter Sunday,” said More.

When More rejoices on Easter Day by declaring, “He Is Risen!” it will not be a double-entendre, because More will still not be fucking anytime soon – it just won’t be voluntary anymore.