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Innovative! Sad Girl Takes Crying Selfie to Prove She Is Sad

Photo by Send me adrift. / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

In a never-before-seen move, Nicole Ryan (C ’24) snapped a selfie of herself sobbing while deep in her feels.

“It’s just so hard,” reported Ryan, “I just got yelled at by my pledge masters, my parents were threatening to cut me off because I shopped at Urban too much — apparently it shows up on the credit card bill — and Jack is not texting me back… gosh, what if I don’t have a date to formal… also I’m failing Econ 002, I got an 89 on my last homework assignment.”

At 11:00 pm, Ryan cried into her pillow after FaceTime with her parents. She lamented her harrowing life as a young white girl. Ryan tried reliving the anguish of not getting Peter in Peter Pan the Musical in middle school to conjure more tears. She always resented Peter Peterson for getting the part. 

In a bolt of brilliance, Ryan grabbed her phone and snapped a dozen selfies of herself crying. She narrowed the selection down to one hottest, most pitiful crying selfie. She then posted said selfie to her close friend story on Instagram, her finsta story, her locked Snapchat story, Twitter, and four different club Groupme chats.

What a creative queen! We at Under the Button applaud Nicole’s artistic adventures.