Liwa Sun
Articles
Editorial: I Love You. I'm Glad I Exist. Yes, I Will Go to Your Show.
Everything will have been nothing when it is all over. You must do to be. Yes, I will go to Penn Chinese Theatre's fall show.
Report: All of Human History to Be Measured by Having Text From Situationship vs. Not Having Text From Situationship
Why is it that when you kiss him you can forget your name?
Editorial: I Am Not a Veteran
not a veteran I am not a veteran I do not identify as one or more
Report: Boyfriend Texting Drafts of Satire Headlines Again
“Wow, woke king! This white guy takes to a minority today!”
UTB’s Guide for Sending Your Professor Ignominious Emails Asking for Undeserved Extension or Apologizing for Irredeemable Wretchedness
First step, enema.
Here Are 5 Places on Campus for Woeful English Majors to Brood in And/ Or Weep At
The closest I will ever come to that 10-dollar lox sandwich
Student With No Depression Exhibits Stellar Executive Function
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Report: Desserts Such as Bread Pudding
I’m literally addicted to food I have to eat it every day.
Oh, Hell Yeah: I Run Into My Best Friend at One of the Two Locations We Always Frequent on Campus
Hell yeah. I see you, brother. I come to you. One day I will weep for this.
OP-ED: I Am a True Artist Who Cannot “Come to Club Meeting” or “Buy Alc for Pregame”
Shall I let the image of me approaching imminent death hang above my head like the Sword of Damocles? My mortality alone is principle enough.
BREAKING: Confucius Appointed as New University Provost
Confucius will replace Beth Winkelstein, bioengineering professor and interim provost. Confucius will be the first Chinese, first Confucian, as well as the first non-living individual to serve as Penn provost.
Woke Mob Hasn’t Cancelled David Bowie but Here Are the 10 Tweets I Will Fire Off if They Hypothetically Did
I am a top student at the University of Pennsylvania, not a prostitute.
BREAKING: Interjection Deemed Too Out-Of-Pocket Even for Zaniest Member of Friend Group
Nostalgic! Eye-Rub to Unearth Glitter From Two ABBA Nights Ago
OP-ED: Sit Your White Ass Down and Listen
OP-ED: I Carry a Telfar Bag to School and You Will Treat Me as Such
Penn Replaces Mask Mandates With Whatever the Fuck Bjork Is Wearing Here
I Lived It: He Left Me for a Girl Who Uses “Begs the Question” Erroneously
Readers, my jaw was on the floor. Did this girl seriously just invoke the logical fallacy in an erroneous manner?
OP-ED: I Did Not Come To Moelis Family Grand Reading Room to Make Friends
When I swipe with three fingers on my trackpad to access all 12 of my desktops (each with a different photo of St Vincent as desktop background), do not come near – the magnificence of it all might frighten you.
Editorial: We Are Still in a Pandemic
The thing we have come to know as something as big as life – covid, coveed, the rona, the Kung Flu, Wuhan Virus, however you want to call it – is still there. And guess what? It will never go away