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Liwa Sun


Articles

Student Secures Boyfriend to Connect Laptop to AirPennNet

It has since been revealed that Newark, set to graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Neuroscience next spring, has been using AirPennNet–Guest on her various tablets since NSO freshman year. 


Here’s Why I Endorsed My Pledgemaster for Management on LinkedIn

Needless to say, I was proper pledged and mastered.


Aw Shucks! Girl Next to You in Lecture Browsing Penn InTouch

She is free and you are not. What are you going to do?


Op-Ed: You Heard So Much About Me? All Good Things I Hope, Haha

Yeah, for sure, let’s get dinner.


BREAKING: Guy in Class Would Like to Direct Group’s Attention to Another Page

At which point, the entire class shat pants.


I’m On the REES Mailing List Because I Love Deleting Unread Emails

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done. And there is no new thing under the sun.


Op–Ed: Wanna See My Bruises?

I was already so trashed at that point.


Tragic! Area Woman Dies After 10-Minute Male Attention Withdrawal

She proceeded to listen to Thinking Bout You by Frank Ocean three times. Within 10 minutes, she upped and died.


Woke King! This Guy’s Type Is Ivy-League Educated Women of Color

This white man truly does not discriminate at all! 


Ally Behavior! This Straight Woman Does Poppers

"Yeah, she would not stop doing poppers that night," Ryan's other gay friend Josh Compas (C '21) told us, "We were like, 'what are you doing,' but she just kept chanting 'hashtag queen shit' over and over, and then I said, 'it's literally Pride Month, Nicole,' and she was like, 'exactly.'"


Sophomore Unaware He Is at Exact Moment When Gifted Child Turns into Burnt Out Adult

At Penn, Liang is a biannually participating member of Penn Outdoors and a thrice-rejected submitter to Penn Review. He got cut from both ZBT and Phi after two rounds of open rush.


How to Not Set Yourself on Fire When Someone Bumps Message on Slack

Drop all your activities. Read The Bible. Download Tinder. Marry Sarwar Shah from the 40th St Halal Truck. Busy yourself with domestic work. 


Wow! Mediocre Man Emotionally Unavailable

You loved him. He averaged around 50 hours before he texted you back each time. You did not once experience orgasm during sex with him. What a king!


Innovative! Sad Girl Takes Crying Selfie to Prove She Is Sad

She lamented her harrowing life as a young white girl. 


English Major Enters 11th Month of Reading Same Paperback

At this point, Lopez requested a nicotine break. 


Introducing EAST & UP: My Flight Back to China This Summer

Even after the 13–hour is up, the jouissance of EAST & UP is far from over.


UPennAlert: I’m Upset at 39th and Locust

See www.publicsafety.upenn.edu for details.


Why I Refuse to See Other Women as Competition Unless They Are the Same Race As Me

I’m all against competitions unless it’s coming down between me and another Chinese skank. In that case, there is absolutely a competition and I’m winning.


BREAKING: I Love to Get 2 On

Make no mistake: I love to get on to begin with. The mere act of getting 1 on is already heaven to me. So you can imagine the elation of getting 2 on. 


Op-Ed: Stop Bringing Your Kids to Clark Park, I Need to Smoke

Bring justice to us future lung cancer patients.


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