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Liwa Sun


Articles

Introducing EAST & UP: My Flight Back to China This Summer

Even after the 13–hour is up, the jouissance of EAST & UP is far from over.


UPennAlert: I’m Upset at 39th and Locust

See www.publicsafety.upenn.edu for details.


Why I Refuse to See Other Women as Competition Unless They Are the Same Race As Me

I’m all against competitions unless it’s coming down between me and another Chinese skank. In that case, there is absolutely a competition and I’m winning.


BREAKING: I Love to Get 2 On

Make no mistake: I love to get on to begin with. The mere act of getting 1 on is already heaven to me. So you can imagine the elation of getting 2 on. 


Op-Ed: Stop Bringing Your Kids to Clark Park, I Need to Smoke

Bring justice to us future lung cancer patients.


Self-Identified Extroverted Introvert? You Might Be Eligible for Lethal Injection

In the past several weeks, many Penn students have already received the injection by walking into the FEMA center and claiming the leftover shots.


Slay! Stephanie Really Hasn’t Changed For the Worse Lately

Stephanie looks forward to more weeks of not being a complete cunt.


OP-ED: Stop Acting Like the Pandemic Is Over and Start Acting Like It Never Happened

We may never recall all we found to be normal prior to the beginning of the pandemic, but we should not get caught up in the importance of trying to regain that sense of normalcy; we need to do more. 


Penn’s Commencement Plans Overlook Orthodox Jews and Those Who Already Booked Their Bora Bora Tickets

Penn’s willful ignorance of Orthodox Jewish students’ religious practices, as well as Stephanie’s well-planned-out schedule to live it the fuck up in Bora Bora can be corrected. 


Four Items From Urban Outfitters Clearance Rack That Say: My Parents Were Absent During My Developmental Years

Every piece of clothing in Urban Outfitters tells a story. Some say, "I just moved from Rural Virginia to Philly and boy do I need to stop wearing skinny jeans." Others say, "I just deleted Hinge for the sixth time, but this Saturday night I will redownload it."


BREAKING: A New Annotation Has Been Added to Your Canvas Submission

That night, everything becomes clear under the ruthless moonlight. A new annotation has indeed been added to your canvas submission. MATH114 TA Bob Greisch has assessed your quiz and annotated: “None of these steps really help you get towards upper triangular.”


Report: Second Floor Panera Bread Fraught With the Hostile Stares of the Better Adjusted

But is any of this effort enough to gear me up for the absolute bloodbath on the second floor of Panera Bread? 


Fuck: Talented Writer in Your Creative Writing Workshop Is Actually in SEAS

On top of being talented in creative writing, Fiona was also exceedingly employable.


Modern Day Gatsby? Open Tabs in Zoom Screenshare Clearly Curated for Single Student

Josiah Gordon declined our request for comment. He was last seen walking circles forlornly around the Bio Pond.


Guy Who Played Penn Masala Song During Make Out Session Not Even in Penn Masala

At one point, the guy stopped his motion and whispered into the air: “Alexa, play Musafir by Penn Masala.” 


Meet the Three People from the Class of 2025 Who Aren’t College YouTubers

“When I opened the decision portal when it came out, the thought of filming my reaction never crossed my mind,” said Delaney.


UTB Writer Not Funny Anymore After CAPS Therapy Session

Especially in these unprecedented times, CAPS is more committed than ever to creating a safe and caring environment for Penn’s diverse student body. 


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