It has since been revealed that Newark, set to graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Neuroscience next spring, has been using AirPennNet–Guest on her various tablets since NSO freshman year. 

Needless to say, I was proper pledged and mastered.

She is free and you are not. What are you going to do?

Yeah, for sure, let’s get dinner.

At which point, the entire class shat pants.

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done. And there is no new thing under the sun.

I was already so trashed at that point.

She proceeded to listen to Thinking Bout You by Frank Ocean three times. Within 10 minutes, she upped and died.

This white man truly does not discriminate at all! 

"Yeah, she would not stop doing poppers that night," Ryan's other gay friend Josh Compas (C '21) told us, "We were like, 'what are you doing,' but she just kept chanting 'hashtag queen shit' over and over, and then I said, 'it's literally Pride Month, Nicole,' and she was like, 'exactly.'"

At Penn, Liang is a biannually participating member of Penn Outdoors and a thrice-rejected submitter to Penn Review. He got cut from both ZBT and Phi after two rounds of open rush.

Drop all your activities. Read The Bible. Download Tinder. Marry Sarwar Shah from the 40th St Halal Truck. Busy yourself with domestic work. 

You loved him. He averaged around 50 hours before he texted you back each time. You did not once experience orgasm during sex with him. What a king!

She lamented her harrowing life as a young white girl. 

At this point, Lopez requested a nicotine break. 

Even after the 13–hour is up, the jouissance of EAST & UP is far from over.

See www.publicsafety.upenn.edu for details.

I’m all against competitions unless it’s coming down between me and another Chinese skank. In that case, there is absolutely a competition and I’m winning.

Make no mistake: I love to get on to begin with. The mere act of getting 1 on is already heaven to me. So you can imagine the elation of getting 2 on. 

Bring justice to us future lung cancer patients.