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Boy Confused Why Scoring Delta Girl Bad


Photo from Pixabay // CC 2.0

Brad (C '22) was confused. Well, he was always confused, but this time he was really, really confused. 

The other morning, someone from Penn Public Health called him, telling him that he had recently come into contact with someone who tested positive for Delta. 

Brad felt incredibly annoyed as the health official droned on about him having to relocate to Sansom West. 

"Obviously, she was Tri-Delta! I only go for the finest sororities around!" Brad thought as he packed his belongings. He and the boys went out a couple nights back and happened to run into some sisters. Six Trulys, two Tito shots, and one mega puff later, Brad had landed the hottest Delta babe ever. 

There must have been some misunderstanding. Some sort of miscommunication. Why would Penn immediately blacklist anyone who came into contact with a Delta girl? 

"It must be a joke," guessed the third-year Nursing student. But if it was, his friends were also playing along. 

As Brad tried explaining to the guys his situation, they all had a similar (unreasonable) reaction: "Jesus-fucking-christ! Delta? Bro, that some serious shit."

Unfortunately, all Brad could do was trudge over to the dreary apartments of Sansom West as he continued to wonder what was so bad about getting with a Delta girl.