Help! I Took Adderall and Now I Am On Adderall
September 16, 2021 at 1:45 pm
Hey, hello, dear reader, dear readers, deer readers? Fuck, I forgot how you start articles. Let me start over.
To all those from close and far that may be reading this collection of words that we have colloquially named, “an article”:
Today I took ten milligrams of adderall, or amphetamine, or dextroamphetamine, or lisdexamfetamine, or adderall.
My doctor, Dr. Greene, who is like the coolest, has an office near my cousin’s sister’s, which I guess makes her also my cousin, old house, prescribed me this medication for my ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD.
When I took the adderall, I was like, I definitely want the effects of being on adderall. But now I am on the adderall, and the unfortunate thing is that I am, in fact, experiencing the sensation of being on adderall.
It didn’t start off too well— I went into my closet to put on a pair of shoes before going to class and ended up organizing my entire closet based on the different astrological energies the clothes were projecting. Now striped pants are next to graphic t-shirts but my animal print underwear needed to be stored under jean jackets and to the left of my berets. Ultimately, I missed class and instead began to write a collection of poems based on what little I could remember from 7th grade science class.
Then, when I was finally able to get started on my actual work, I began to focus on the readings for my Great Britain (otherwise known as England or the United Kingdom) history class. While at first I was humming along to the Irish-British conflict, the adderall had the negative effect of having me read my readings too closely, as in, what is the necessity of the word “the” in English? Or, did the author intend for me to read these readings in an English accent in my head? Or, was I supposed to read it in an English accent aloud? Why do British people talk like that? If I always talked like this, would people then accept that I’m from Britain or would I be the weird girl who talks in an accent from a place she’s not from? But what does it even mean to be “from a place” and what the fuck is a “loo”? So many questions so little time. Must document all so as not to forget. Forget. Forget. Forget. For-get. F-or-get. Forg-et. Frog-ette. That word sounds kind of weird when you say it too many times. Can we ever truly forget? Can we ever truly forgive?
I frog-ette what I was even talking about.
Frogettes are funny.
Ha ha, a frogette wearing a cowboy hat.
So, yeah, anyways, I would say, Dr. Greene, that overall it was a really really super productive day on adderall.