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If I Don’t Wave At You On Locust, I Don’t Dislike You, I Hate You


Photos (with edits) by The Daily Pennsylvanian

Oh hey! Sorry I missed your wave, I just really really hate you.

People like to assume that when they don’t get a wave back it’s because the other person just didn’t see. Well I’m here to reassure you, I saw it.

Lots of Penn students accidentally miss the wave — not me. I like to maintain eye contact for as long as possible to make sure that you know: I really don’t like you. My resting face is actually a smile, so if you see me frowning at you, it’s not a coincidence. I am actively expressing my contempt for you.

I like to drive this point home by waving at everyone that I see on Locust, whether I know them or not. That way, when I see someone that I do know but absolutely HATE, I can abruptly stop. My therapist says that this is a really healthy first step to phasing out physical violence.

Anyways, I’ll see you at recitation tomorrow, cheers.