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Quiz: How Do You Sleep At Night?


Photo by The Daily Pennsylvanian

1. Are you a side sleeper?

A: Yes
B: No
C: Sometimes
D: Only after a huge lift day

2. The U.S. has thrown out 15 million doses of COVID-19 vaccines since they first became available, meanwhile the vaccination rate in most African countries hovers around 1.5%. Your reaction?

A: Oh no! That's so sad
B: Not surprised bro
C: Yeah I know, I'm from one of said countries :|
D: Sucks to suck I guess

3. I've just posted a story on Instagram that says "repost if you're against aggravated assault—I see who views this btw." What do you do?

A: Repost it and add stickers <3
B: Retaliate with a nonspecific "stop performative activism" story
C: I was aggravatedly assaulted the other day :(
D: Scroll. I am pro-aggravated assault.

4. Oh man, you just knocked over Grandma's urn—quick…

A: Glue it back together
B: Write a compelling apology for your parents
C: Grandma once knocked me over :/
D: Vacuum 'er up

5. Let's say that, theoretically, you attend a university with a $15 billion endowment that is slowly eating away at and infantilizing the local community. How would you feel about that?

A: Such a shame
B: Like I got scammed into attending this evil institution
C: Hey that sounds a lot like Pe-
D: Damnnnnnn, I guess that's the way it is though—don't want to drive away the alumni

6. Someone just wished you a Merry Christmas, but you're Jewish—what do you say?

A: Happy Holidays!
B: Happy Hanukkah
C: This happens to me all the time—awkwardly run away
D: I literally can't even imagine being Jewish, like there isn't an ounce of empathetic or imaginative ability in my body

7. What side of the bed do you wake up on?

A: The right side ;)
B: The left
C: Wish I wouldn't
D: I actually prefer the term "rise"—and right in the middle of the couch