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OP-ED: I'll Do a Line, and Then You Strangle Me, Okay?


Photo by Valerie Everett / CC BY-SA 2.0


Oh my God. How many times do I have to explain this? It’s really not that hard of a concept to grasp.

Yes, I meant what I said. And yes, do it in that order.

Yeah, one right after the other. As quick and as forceful as you can. Really go for it.

Hello? What part of this are you still not getting? Jesus.

Come on, let’s go! Chop chop!

Oh, don’t you dare chicken out on me now. I know where you shop for avocados.

Yeah, of course I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.

What, now you don’t trust me? Why don’t you trust me? After all we’ve been through? I don’t believe it.

Look, it’s really simple — I’ll do a line, and then you strangle me, okay?