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BREAKING: Campus A Cappella Group Ousts Musical Arranger After Botched Harmony at Family Showcase Night


Photo by Allegra Greenawalt

On November 16, 2022, a select few University of Pennsylvania performing arts groups held their annual Family Showcase Night in Irvine Auditorium. This is the event of the year for many empty-nesters who now have nothing better to look forward to than amateur standup comedy, a cappella, and interpretive dance. Unfortunately, a Penn A Cappella group (they wish to remain anonymous) encountered disaster after a practically life-threatening mistake was made. Thanks to in-depth and immensely involved research, Under The Button has compiled a comprehensive timeline of the tragedy.

1:49 PM: Unnamed A Cappella Group arrives at Irvine Auditorium 4 minutes late, and is greeted by a slew of side-eye glares from their opposition.

3:04 PM: Unnamed A Cappella Group goes on stage to rehearse. They perform flawlessly. First-hand reports state that onlookers were intimidated by the undeniable skill and prowess of the group.

3:56 PM: An anonymous Unnamed A Cappella Group senior brings her mother into the theater. The aforementioned mother has brownies for everyone. 

4:31 PM: Irvine Auditorium workers announce that the performance will begin shortly. This announcement launches Unnamed A Cappella Group into their pre-show rituals, which are incredibly awkward and embarrassing for them to do in public.

5:59 PM: Unnamed A Cappella Group walks onstage.

6:02 PM: Unnamed A Cappella Group successfully completes their first number.

6:05 PM: Disaster strikes. An anonymous sophomore in Unnamed A Cappella Group sings a C flat when she was supposed to sing a C sharp. 

8:39 PM: Fast forward. Unnamed A Cappella Group executive board converges. In order to save the future of Unnamed A Cappella Group, the board comes to a conclusion that the only path forward is to oust their musical arranger, a junior in the College who graduated from the prestigious Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts.

8:51 PM: Unnamed A Cappella Group President circulates a mass email to all members, alumni, parents, and donors announcing the departure of the musical arranger.

9:23 PM: Students begin to occupy Claudia Cohen Hall to protest the departure of this beloved member of the community. 

Updates as this story develops.