Unbeknownst to me, that little bitch (read: fantastically successful and impressive athlete) just doesn't give a fuck about the beautiful things I have to say to her.
Imagine you came up with these awesome email ideas but are still struggling to get that letter. You’re seeing people around you. They’re going to career fairs. Where are you? Wilcaf. Writing satire. They have jobs. You don’t. They’ve been accepted to their abroad programs. You haven’t.
“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffett
Just like other highly effective and admirable organizations here (I'm looking at you, CAPS), MERT understands the basics of supply and demand.
There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me.
An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania.
AND that bitch from my history class invited my situationship to formal. Everything. Is. Ruined.
I'm not angry with them, just disappointed.
Critics say the institution is on track to become the country’s hottest eatery.
They didn’t like you! None of them liked you!
Remember… you have to spend money to make money.
"Carey, this shows me that you have more than enough self-confidence and are maybe even a little narcissistic!" - My Therapist
An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania.
It really is time for break -- time to be free of finals, to be away from your failed situationship, to have a bedroom to yourself, and for the only thing that really matters: quality me-time.
Danse, dance, dAAAAAAAANCE!
This ruined the would-be event of the year for empty-nesters who now have nothing better to look forward to than amateur a cappella.
How did this man have access to all this information? The answer may shock you.
Speakers disguised as rocks, trash cans, piles of leaves (in the fall), and piles of dirty snow (in the winter) will broadcast the announcement everywhere within a 5-mile radius.
You’re gonna come, they dangle a pocket watch in front of your face. Your vision goes black. All you can think about is the Mask & Wig show. You’re convinced.