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Carey Salvin


Faking Interest

An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania.

Valentine’s Day Miracle: I Have Recitation With the TA I’ve Been Hooking Up With

Hiiiii haha this might be a silly question but how do you transcribe jʊər aɪz ɑr soʊ ˈbjutəfəl?

​​12 Facts About Penn You Definitely Didn't Know

Did you know the 6-year undergraduate graduation rate is 102%?

UTB's Ins and Outs for 2024

Number 4 Will Shock You

Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Transforming The Space

How am I supposed to function in a space with the characteristics of a space such as this space here?

My Roommate Did Something Genius And I Will Never Forgive Her

Det. Kreuger would like to note suspect was really chill and cool and fun.

My Professor Is Mad! I Didn’t Do the Reading Because I Was Busy Finding the Truth

Even if we understand what someone is saying, that doesn’t actually mean that we understand it. 

I Know She Saw It: Coco Gauff Posted on Her Instagram Story But Didn’t Respond to My DM

Unbeknownst to me, that little bitch (read: fantastically successful and impressive athlete) just doesn't give a fuck about the beautiful things I have to say to her.

Penny For Your Thoughts; Miss, For a Dollar; And Other Ways to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation

Imagine you came up with these awesome email ideas but are still struggling to get that letter. You’re seeing people around you. They’re going to career fairs. Where are you? Wilcaf. Writing satire. They have jobs. You don’t. They’ve been accepted to their abroad programs. You haven’t. 

In Honor of Jimmy Buffett’s Life, Liz Magill to Host Margarita Social on College Green This Weekend

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffett

Breaking: MERT to Implement Appointment-Only Booking System

Just like other highly effective and admirable organizations here (I'm looking at you, CAPS), MERT understands the basics of supply and demand.

Take THAT, Patriarchy! I (a Girl) Won the Harrison Bracket Challenge

There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me.

Faking Interest, 第四个

An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania.

Stupid Bitch! My Mom Refused to Upgrade Me to First Class on Our Family Trip To Bora Bora

AND that bitch from my history class invited my situationship to formal. Everything. Is. Ruined.

Heaven is a Place on Earth? Someone Should Tell the Disciples!

I'm not angry with them, just disappointed.

Dreams DO Come True! I Got to Be One of the People Eating in the Window of &pizza.

Critics say the institution is on track to become the country’s hottest eatery.

Faking Interest, Der Dritte

Didn’t Get a Bid? Here’s How to Make Them Pay.

They didn’t like you! None of them liked you!