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Carey Salvin


Articles

BREAKING: Campus A Cappella Group Ousts Musical Arranger After Botched Harmony at Family Showcase Night

This ruined the would-be event of the year for empty-nesters who now have nothing better to look forward to than amateur a cappella.


Big Spreadsheet Open on Laptop Next to Me — Now I Know All the Financial Secrets of America’s Largest Corporations!

How did this man have access to all this information? The answer may shock you.


Penn Launches Campus-Wide Intercom System To Announce Commons Specials Every Morning

Speakers disguised as rocks, trash cans, piles of leaves (in the fall), and piles of dirty snow (in the winter) will broadcast the announcement everywhere within a 5-mile radius. 


OP-ED: Mask and Wig Should Do One of These Shows Every Week!

You’re gonna come, they dangle a pocket watch in front of your face. Your vision goes black. All you can think about is the Mask & Wig show. You’re convinced. 


Your Decorations Are So Cute! And 7 Other Lies Guaranteed to Get You Friends in College

“You’re so good at Math 1400… I wish I could do derivatives like you.”


Quiz: Can You Tell How Svelte I Am Based on How Cute I Sneeze?

This quiz will determine whether YOU get into heaven. 


Photo Essay: Why Don't You Care That We're In The Poconos?

Please, follow us through our journey to what we like to call The Alps of Eastern Pennsylvania… or… The Poconos.


OP-ED: The People in the High Rise Across From You Have Much More Fun and Interesting Lives

If I lived in Rodin, all my dreams would come true.


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