Sorry, You’re Not Conventionally Attractive Enough to Be the Main Subject of My BeReal

Dear Friend,

Thank you for your interest in appearing in my BeReal. I regret to inform you that I am unable to offer you a place in today’s post. I wish that a different decision had been possible, though today’s social calendar presented me with the most competitive candidate pool of all time. 

I unfortunately cannot post multiple BeReals per day. I am faced with the tough need to maximize my social capital gains with only one post. I hope you understand — I’m getting dinner with a 6 and an 8 later tonight. While I would very much like to feature friends who are 5s on my account, there are simply too many other qualified people worth admitting. Like any BeReal user, I need to craft my post with the most conventionally attractive people possible.

I’m happy to appear on your BeReal, but am unable to reciprocate. Please keep me in your thoughts for later days — I’m sure that one day an opportunity will present itself in which you’re the most attractive person I’ll see. I look forward to that hypothetical scenario. And in the meantime, please feel free to appear in other people’s BeReals. I know that you will thrive as the subject of any of them. 

Sincerely,

Adrian Rafizadeh

Director of Admissions, Adrian Rafizadeh’s BeReal