Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Adrian Rafizadeh


Articles

“He Is JP Morgan” and 7 Other Lies to Tell About What Your Dad Does

And look at that — you made a new friend, scaled Penn’s social ladder, and are now one degree of separation from the heir to the Funyuns fortune. Not bad, right?


Victory! Company Gentrifying McDonald’s Is Owned by Women and Minority

“Who gives a fuck?” responded one West Philly resident interviewed by UTB. Future investigative work will be needed to determine why West Philly is so ungrateful.


Penn to Unveil New A Cappella Group Made Up of Just People Coughing in Fisher Fine Arts Library

Schmitt founded the Treble Cough acapella group to do just that: amplify the sounds of Penn’s most prolific disruptive coughers.


Google Maps to Correct Walking Directions’ ETAs to Account For Insufferable Locust Walk Small Talk

More advanced features from Google rumored for the near future include the ability to upload your ex’s class schedule into the app for Google’s AI to predict where they might be walking — and to direct you away.


Oops! Magill Approves Penn's First Fleet of Fighter PILOTs

In an official statement, Magill responded to critics: “To our activists of color, I hear you. I am listening. Next time, I will try and listen a little more closely, though — I think I know what PILOTs are now.”


PennConnects