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"I Don’t Wanna Yuck Someone’s Yum": Devil's Advocate Guy Picks Up New Signature Saying


Sources report that HIST 1240, Scars: Impacts of the Cold War, just got way more intolerable. The conversations in this ten person seminar are dominated by pushy, reactionist college sophomore Aaron Smith. Things are taking a turn. Smith, known for butting into conversations with "just to play devils advocate" followed by something wildly insensitive, just came up with a new slogan. "I don't wanna yuck someone's yum."

Just to be clear, this guy is the worst. Smith is the kind of person who gets a little too excited about WWII and 9/11. Last week he suggested that one could make parallels between the Rwandan genocide and Me Too. This week, when discussing the lavender scar and McCarthy's persecution of gays and lesbians Smith jumped in with, "Just to play devils advocate, what if they really were communists?" The ancient professor for HIST 1240, Dr. Applebaum, reportedly lets Smith ask inflammatory questions without probing Smith on his beliefs. 

"Smith? Oh he's a great student! He always comes to class," said Dr. Applebaum when asked for comment.

Smith's classmate, Janice McDonald said that Smith is changing up his lingo, but has the same underlying motivations. "I was used to Smith saying really reactionary stuff, just trying to get a rise out of us. I was shocked last week when Smith started off a comment with 'Not to yuck someone's yum.' I really thought he turned over a new leaf and was going to say something nice." Instead, Smith followed this up with his "yum" with his belief that book banning is a viable way to "protect America's youth."

According to other sources in the class, Smith is throwing around "I don't want to yuck someone's yum" all of the time. Despite it being a cutesy phrase, Smith follows it up with somewhat horrific. 

"This guy has ruined the class for me," said McDonald. I'm honestly looking forward to the final so I never have to hear this guy's comments about the Cold War and whatever the heck he manages to steer the conversation towards.