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Limited Time Offer: Penn Closet To Sell Halal Meat Flavored Perfume

Images by Vivian Joskowicz and Vetiver Aromatics with Edits by Justine Orgel/CC2.0

My favorite part of thrifting other than buying kids shirts, dressing poor, and reselling everything I find to turn a profit is the smell. Have you ever heard the saying, “It smells like teen spirit?” You probably haven’t, it’s part of the aesthetic. Well anyway, when I walk into the thrift, it smells like cold, hard spirit. I pull out my pocket amethyst and I let it absorb the energy. My amethyst usually senses rotting white people and soiled underwear. Weird? Or cool!

I love the little quirks of all thrift stores. Like some sell used clothes, others sell used plates. They’re all so unique. I love that my silly, little, second-hand University of PA has its own thrift: Penn Closet. Some of my so-called friends have been telling me that it's closed, but the only thing that’s closed is their minds. Closet is definitely out and open. My favorite quirk other than the clothes is the halal cart perfume made in HARS-1708. I don’t know what those souls do but it sure is soul food. Man oh man, I love to spray myself with that shit and Penn Closet sells it for dining dollars, CRAZY.

Penn Closet is my favorite thrift precisely because of their halal cart perfume. I like to walk down Spruce and rub up on Halal carts just to get a little extra lovin’. I used to go to class and the stupid whores with Dior bags would scrunch their nose jobs and say, “It smells like greasy meat and gasoline in here.” Well girls, it didn’t just smell like it, you were smelling it! I have my misgivings about gasoline so that halal cart perfume comes in #clutch. Unfortunately, it is a limited time offer, so I stock up every time they stock up. But just thought I’d let you all know about this giveaway (dining dollars).