Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Breaking! Trip Home Reveals Girl That Peaked on Her 8th Grade Trip to Medieval Times Still Weird

Photo: Edited by Anna O'Neill-Dietel

We've all been there. Your middle school class loads into a yellow bus and drives for hours through the exurbs. Then suddenly, a warehouse decked out in faux masonry with two towers emerges from the middle of the industrial park. It's Medieval Times, of course! 

It kinda sucked. Yes it was better than pre-algebra, but you had to sit through two hours of staged jousting re-enactments in a space originally meant for a minor league hockey team (and still smelled like it). You ate a greasy chicken thigh with your hands and got your choice of coke or sprite from a plastic tankard. The only thing you remember clearly is when Hayden threw up on the bus back.

Little did you know, that weird girl from your eighth grade class is still hooked on that stuff. On a visit home, she comes out of nowhere. Whether you are making a grocery run or at your favorite coffee spot, you are bound to have to interact with her. At 20 years old she's wearing a corset and lace up leather boots. But you note that it's not in a cool, alt, historically accurate "you go girl" way. Are those plastic elf ears? Is that a deathly hallows tattoo? Didn't your mom say that girl was going to doula school in Oregon? 

You have to make conversation about something, right? You're blanking. What do you guys still have in common? "Wow, uh, remember that trip to Medieval times in eighth grade?" you say.

"Yeah that was the best!"