OP-ED: Oh, You Go To School Just Outside of Boston? Like, Tufts?

You know, you must be the most interesting person I’ve met on Hinge this year. So tell me, where do you go to school?

Boston, huh? Not sure I’ve heard of that. Is that in Massachusetts? Like the American state on the East Coast formerly governed by Mitt Romney, 2012 Republican presidential nominee and current junior Senator for the state of Utah, from 2003 to 2007? The state in the United States of America, the third-largest country in the world by land and total area, consisting of 50 states, a federal district, five major unincorporated territories, nine Minor Outlying Islands, and including 326 Indian reservations? That Boston?

Oh! Oh yeah! I know Boston. Yeah, I’ve got a buddy who goes to school there. He goes to Boston University. Do you know him? Oh, you don’t go to school in Boston. Right, you’re just outside of Boston. Like, Tufts?

Hm. Not Tufts. Boston College? No? Bentley University? No. The Hellenic College and Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology?

You’re in “Cambridge,” you said? Do you go to Hult International Business School?

Nah, I’m just kidding. I know what Harvard is. I was fucking with you. Anyways, what’s your Venmo so I can request you for your half of the dinner?