The renewed controversy comes just days after Congressional Republicans accused Penn of offering Chinese language classes.
“Your English is almost as good as mine!” noted Philadelphia native Lily Gretcher.
“Wait, what dialect do you speak at home?” asked Liu. “Western New England English,” Wang replied.
Two authors offer compelling viewpoints regarding the ongoing UC Townhomes controversy.
The news comes only weeks after reports that Penn alumnus Mehmet Oz (Med, W ‘86) directed medical experiments which led to the deaths of over 300 dogs.
“Ending the University’s support of fossil fuels has always been a priority of ours,” she said as the Board of Trustees giggled behind her.
“We project that [Josh Williamson’s] life satisfaction will truly reach a global maximum at 2:23 am tonight,” says Dr. Michael Harrison, director of the Center for Lost Connections and Lifelong Regrets.
“Long live Xi Jinping Thought!” proclaimed Liz Magill.
55% of the freshman class identifies as BIPOC (Businesspeople, Investors, People of Capital).