Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Ted Kwee-Bintoro


Articles

Vibrator Left Behind in Huntsman GSR After Inaugural Edge Fund Board Meeting

“Anyone else smell fish?” asked a concerned bystander.


Counterpoints: "Penn Must Contend with its Complicated Legacy of Displacement" vs. "Sucks to Suck, That's the Free Market"

Two authors offer compelling viewpoints regarding the ongoing UC Townhomes controversy. 


Penn Tops "Most Cartoonishly Evil Alumni" List for Third Year in a Row

The news comes only weeks after reports that Penn alumnus Mehmet Oz (Med, W ‘86) directed medical experiments which led to the deaths of over 300 dogs. 


Magill Announces Fossil Fuel Divestment, Crosses Fingers Behind Her Back

“Ending the University’s support of fossil fuels has always been a priority of ours,” she said as the Board of Trustees giggled behind her. 


Heartbreaking: Local Frat Brother Remains Blissfully Unaware That His Life Will Peak in 17 Hours and 21 Minutes

“We project that [Josh Williamson’s] life satisfaction will truly reach a global maximum at 2:23 am tonight,” says Dr. Michael Harrison, director of the Center for Lost Connections and Lifelong Regrets.


Chinese Politburo Ranks Penn Second for Ideological Orthodoxy After Peking University

 “Long live Xi Jinping Thought!” proclaimed Liz Magill.


Wharton Announces New Minor in White-Collar Crime for Class of 2027

The new curriculum was made possible due to a generous endowment from the Ponzi Foundation.


Diversity Win! Class of 2026 Most Diverse Cohort of High-Net-Worth Individuals

55% of the freshman class identifies as BIPOC (Businesspeople, Investors, People of Capital).


PennConnects