Damn: Exchange Student in Class Not the Sexy Type of Foreign

As I ventured into my very important Political Science class last Tuesday morning, my heart was torn. Coming back to campus after winter break is always tough. Leaving my hometown friends, family, and bagel shop for the bright lights of the big city is never an easy transition. This year, I had to leave my new small-town sweetie, Beth-Ann, behind as well. That’s why, upon entering Joe Biden Building Rm. 109 that gloomy morning, my heart skipped a beat. 

With Valentine’s Day approaching, I was determined to find myself a sexy political science freak. When the class Canvas page dropped, I glossed over the list of names under “People” and was delighted to discover that there were some beautiful foreign names on that list. “Skandva Heemstedstratt.” Nice. “Toulouse Budiç.” “Lemongrass Febberrhessenn.” That's an interesting one. 

But when I glanced around the room and looked for the beautiful people to match these beautiful names, I was so disappointed! There were no busty Swedish 22-year-olds. There were no Selma Hayeck type bitches, if you know what I mean. I think I sat down next to the Toulouse one. She was eating boiled potatoes and some sort of dried fish. Gross. Damn. It was like 10:00am.