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Hey, you! Yes you, sitting there in the darkened carrels of VP and the blindingly bright GSRs of Hunstman; in the vast upstairs study room of Hillel and the empty computer lab in McNeil; in your beds and on the lawns in a hammock you somehow acquired. For anyone with internet access and less than perfect self control in using it, this is for YOU.
In the Rosengarten Study Center in VP stands a cart, filled with the discarded water bottles of forgetful students. Below, is one student's apology to a lost friend, but we like to think it applies to them all:
Perhaps plagued by a profound sense of end-of-the-semester-nostalgia, or the same prankster spirit that brought you this, students have stolen the Fisher Hassenfeld House photo for a second time and House Dean Shawna M. Patterson is pissed. Invoking both Lemony Snicket and the NSA, Patterson informed her residents that their lives will be incredibly unpleasant if they are caught with the stolen picture. She also warned that they will be caught by the Big Brother that is Quad security cameras, forcing all to reevaluate some Spring Fling decisions.
Temperatures are rising and the campus is in heat. People are exposing some arms, trees are covering some limbs, and we declare the semester officially sexy. We can't think of a better way to celebrate Spring than to lift up your lens and start snapping.
Even though the weekend has passed, we couldn't pass over this opportunity to highlight a party animal who took down his four cups like it was tonic water with a little bit of lemon. Sometimes, you just have to kick it old school.
End of Bursar for Graduating Seniors--In a not so subtle way of booting 2015 from the nest, Penn is stripping away Seniors' ability to use their Bursar accounts. While this may mark nothing more than our inability to remain slightly more removed from the purchase of the Penn throw pillow of our dreams, we are feeling all the feels. We'll miss you Bursar. Though your benefits might be negligible, our tears are real.
We know we might be the blog that cried Spring, but now things are looking up! April is upon us and soon the geese will fly north and the salmon will swim yet again. Celebrate the start of the official UTB Fling countdown (19 days) with our five fave campus activities this week and our Philly Pick!
Looking to maintain your Spring Break bikini bod? Kweder has got you covered. All you need is cigarettes, wine, some sort of rowing machine, a dark den like room, and the ability to giggle and ruffle his hair while wearing a crop top. Simple.
If your March Madness bracket is already busted (damn it Georgia State), and you've been knocked out of the DP's Penn Bracket, we have the bracket for you! We've rounded up your favorite stories of the year and placed them head to head for your voting pleasure. Who will be this year's Theos Google Group Fiasco?
This empty, high class bottle of vod was found in a second floor women's bathroom in DRL and we have questions: Post-class shots? Pre-class shots? In-class shots? Were they so inspired by the new decor that they just HAD to make a toast? Too much time in Anal Meth (aka Math-180)? Were they trying to recreate an old movie about high school where the bathroom was THE place to rebel? St. Patty's Day gone right wrong? Did they take some of our Spring Break recommendations a little too seriously? Either way, we give these drinking divas some props for making DRL a slightly more exciting place to be bored. See you in the girls' room.
With our new video find we are bringing you an extra large dose of cringe-inducing awkwardness. Seeking to create comedy film something, a Drexel student from Russia decided to walk around Penn's campus butchering pickup lines. The dude seems quite pleased with himself despite the girls' reactions, which vary from mild amusement to pure confusion. We would say we're surprised, but after Ukrainian girls walked around campus tempting men to choose one to kiss, nothing out of Eastern Europe shocks us.
"...Weigle, Weigle, Weigle." Or, at least that's how we envision the 2015 remake of this classic 2007 magical musical moment. Created to celebrate the opening of the Weigle Information Commons and nominated for the Best Musical Category of the Libvid Awards (obviously), our latest video find is perhaps one of the most earnest videos we've ever seen.
Perhaps seeking to prove that a GoPro does not in fact make everything look fun, Penn Dental made this video. With panoramas of a room filled with practice dental chairs and close ups of a needle entering a gaping mouth, we were intrigued, but mostly we were plagued by flashbacks of mental hooks scraping our gums, not to mention trying to pretend you're not crying because you feel weird that you're a twenty-year-old who can't handle a routine cleaning...just us?
Coming back from a recent snub from his alma mater, John Legend proved that he still deserves the title of Our Favorite Alumn. First, his tear inducing performance with Common of "Glory" from Selma even managed to upstage a more-than-half-naked Neil Patrick Harris and a fever-dream rendition of "Everything is Awesome." And then, he won the Oscar for Best Original Song AND gave a powerful speech that left us speechless. After a night like that, we have but one question for dear ole' JL. We know it's a step down, but how about the College ceremony? We'll bring snacks.
In an effort to save our hearts and accommodate the vegan/vegetarians among us, Hill has proudly announced its participation in the Meatless Mondays global campaign. However, Hill based carnivores literally have nothing to fear because meat will in fact still be served. Yeah.
The dirty little rodent seems to have been correct. It is so cold outside we don't expect you to leave your rooms, but, if you do, there happens to be a lot of stuff going on this week. So put on your boots and throw on that fur-hooded jacket, because campus is buzzing.
Oh Crest At The Entrance of VP, how did I only discover now, when since 1960 you have stood waiting? I have forsaken a false, flammable lover and chosen you, my new true, forever love. Oh how your stallions entice me with their vigor and your eagle seduces me with its "hard to get" sideways glance. Your commanding presence excites me in a way I didn't think I was into until the 50 Shades of Grey revival and now all I want to do it stare into your regal metallic facade.
For those of us who cannot read full sentences, Pottruck has us covered. To alert the populace that an exercise bike is currently not working, Pottruck supplied some helpful laminated info for us "word folk" and then just threw it down for those with less of an attention span. Bottom line? No bike. Walk away. BROKE. Deal with it. Love, Pottruck.
Perhaps entering into a Bad Romance with one of our own, the Lady herself attended the opening of PennDesign professor Wael Shawky's exhibit at the MoMa this weekend, the Cabaret Crusades. LG was impressed by the prof's "Little Monsters," aka the intricate and beautiful puppets used for his series of films. To quote from her Facebook page, the exhibit was magical enough to give a woman who wears this, "the shivers."
All the suspense and construction is finally over! The new 40th and Sansom complex, aka the restaurants that live in Frogro's all consuming shadow, have officially become a part of Penn's food scene. Soon all we'll be hearing is "Which Dunkin Donuts?" and "Is Allegros the place a few blocks from Zestos?" To herald in the new eateries, we would love to hear which one you think will be the next Penn staple.