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REPORT: Is That a First Date or Is My Crush Just Coffee Chatting That Double D European Chick?

(10/29/23 6:01pm)

I really REALLY need to know the context behind this situation. I just walked out of Pret with my oat milk chai latte  (I’m lactose intolerant) and guess who I see chatting it up at the tables right outside? Should I scoot a little closer to eavesdrop? Or will I hear something that will make me want to skip my 10:15?



Recently Reunited Long Distance Couples Confirm That My Dorm Is Definitely the Best Place to Study on Campus

(10/01/23 7:20pm)

I’d take the liberty of calling myself a fairly observant person. I’ve indeed noticed the empty condom Ziplocs stapled to the walls of my residential house’s hallways (the ones labeled “safe sex is great sex!”,  you know the deal). I’ve taken note of the glowing red LED strip lights in the windows of the highrises. Sometimes the banging noises coming from my upstairs neighbor become a bit too rhythmic. 


SAC Fair Opens New Horizons: Perhaps I Am the Perfect Candidate for Swing Dancing

(09/11/23 4:34pm)

There are seldom moments in life when people believe so enthusiastically in your future: high school graduation, an engagement announcement, maybe a new job offer. Despite their significance in Western society, these events can’t even compete with the levels of passion shown by the club representatives lining Locust Walk in the heat of August.







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