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Which One Of You Has A Room Full Of Squirrels?

(11/18/09 10:48pm)

Readers, you really need to stop misbehaving. First you pretended to be Amy Gutmann and now one of you stole some squirrel sculptures because we said they were ugly. That's two strikes, guys! Things were better when you were just electing the officials we told you to vote for. There is nothing funny about fraud or theft. Well, except for this one thing: one of you has a room full of those squirrel sculptures.





Wait A Second...(Life)

(11/16/09 5:02pm)

Stop wiping your eyes. That is not the real button. Its placement next to the Tampons and that circle of chairs in front of a picture of a lecture hall might suggest that this is a photo of the real world, but it's actually part of this game called Second Life. Normally, this would not be news, but this week it is maybe the most important thing in the world. Let us explain after the jump.





Phillies Could Sign Commencement Speaker Candidate Mark DeRosa

(11/09/09 5:02pm)

Man, tough loss for the Phillies last week. The good news is that it's caused them to tap into their inner Coach Taylor and start this offseason with an intensity and a determination that would make Buddy Garrity giggle for days. They already picked up Cliff Lee's option and are looking to make more moves in the coming weeks. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't even think about not signing Mark DeRosa!


Let's All Have The Absolute Best Homecoming Possible

(11/06/09 10:07pm)

Don't be surprised when you wake up this weekend. You're going to see some shirts tucked into jeans. You're going to notice a lot of greying temples. You're going to think, "When did College Green became Fogey City, Population: Tons Of Moms And Dads?" Then somebody's going to give you a button that says Homecoming 2009 and it's all going to make sense.


Healing The Pains Of Not Having Enough Pains Interviews To Read

(11/06/09 4:00pm)

Tonight's the SPEC Fall Concert! We're sure you all read the interviews with the bands from this week's Street, but maybe that wasn't enough. Maybe you want to know what Pains of Being Pure at Heart singer Kip Berman had to say about autumn, football and how much Smashing Pumpkins he's been listening to. Good news: we have outtakes from the interview on those very subjects and so much more!


The ICA Is Going To Be So Fun Tonight

(11/04/09 3:00pm)

We know what the stereotypical Penn Wednesday night is like. Get out of class, take a nap, eat some Greek Lady, hop on your Vespa, party at the Philadelphia Zoo, steal a baby rhino, go to sleep on your water bed, toss and turn because you tore a baby away from its mother, give it a big hug, return it. Same old drag, week after week. Are you looking for something to do that'll shake things up a little?






Portrait Battle Part 1: Nursing Vs. Engineering

(10/29/09 7:03pm)

One of the dumbest things to argue about is which school at Penn is the best. We're all friends here! Still, we're kind of wondering, you know? So let's figure this out once and for all based on the only logical criteria: portraits of professors hanging in the schools' respective buildings. Fill out the bracket below, start a pool with your friends and check out the first match up, Nursing vs. Engineering, after the jump.


Here Are Some Things To Talk About During The World Series

(10/28/09 4:00pm)

The World Series starts tonight! But we can see on your face that you're worried. You're thinking, "I want to root for the Phillies so that I can feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when I riot following their victory but I don't even know who this Utley guy is whose costume I'm wearing." First of all, it's called a jersey or a uniform. Second of all, stop being so anxious! We got you.



TwitPenn Volume IV

(10/26/09 7:34pm)

People can't stop tweeting about Penn and we can't stop reading what they have to say. Join us after the jump for another edition of PennTwit. This week: nudity and penmanship practice. Yes. UPenn: Not Swat Since 1740. GIRLLLL I SUCK AT TWITTER AND ALSO AT TURNING OFF MY CAPS LOCK!!!!!! WAIT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ABBY!!!!! YOU'RE JUST HER CAT!!!! I GOT A BALL OF YARN IF YOU WANT TO WORK ON THAT THOUGH!!!!!! People always say that you should have fun in college, because you'll regret missing good times with good friends more than you will bad grades on the occasional midterm. What they don't tell you about is the terrible feeling of regret that comes from filling out a Weiss Tech House survey and never cashing in on the prize. Oh, that explains this.





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