Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.
This is a cake. It is a vanilla cake. It is for sale in Frogro. It costs $24.99. It is one of FroGro's signature designs. It has a bare-chested Ken doll reclining on it. You want this cake. You need this cake. Why do you not own this cake? Go and buy this cake.
Back in 1982, the young mathematician Leonid Brailovsky got into Penn. Nice! The bad news: He was from Russia. And Jewish. Back then, the Russian government was a bit bonkers, and because of his background, Leonid was not allowed to leave the motherland. Outraged, the Penn community organized a 5-kilometer run in protest. Soon after, then-Penn prez Sheldon Hackney decided that running five kilometers was not an appropriate way to challenge the Communist government and renamed Locust Walk "Leonid Brailovsky's Way" for a day to show his support of the young scholar. (Doesn't that sound like some sort of preteen soap opera?) Anyway, Brailovsky never did end up at Penn, unfortunately. Oh, Soviet Union! You so silly/completely horrendous!
Penn's Bestestest And Brightestestest– Have you seen any gaggles of elementary school children wandering around on campus lately? Some schools, such as Glenn Dale Elementary School in Maryland, have decided to bring their kids to inspire them to work hard for college. That's nice! So when you're hungover, try not to vom in any trash cans in front of the youngins, ya hear?
The typical sequence of events on a Penn weekend night: you get trashed at Smoke's and then meander on over to FroGro for some late-night munchies. Multiply that by ten and you've got our new friend in the video above. We almost feel bad for this kid, but if you fall asleep on the shelves at FroGro, that's your deal. Use some discretion next time, yeah?
Penn #4 Most Stressful College According To The Daily Beast– You all heard about this already, right? Ok, nice. Now get back to studying.
Around noon today, two Penn students were hit by two separate cars only a block away from each other. The two accidents, which occurred at the intersections of 33rd and and 34th and Spruce, happened only minutes apart. As The DP reports, the two were promptly carted off to HUP. How spooky is that? Let's hope no one was seriously injured. Update: Neither student sustained life-threatening injuries.
Finals season is here, and if you're reading this, it probably means you can't study. If you're in Van Pelt or Fisher, the guy in front of you won't stop farting and some idiot nearby is chewing gum with an open mouth. (Seriously, stop that.) If you're in Saxby's– Well, if you're lucky enough to have a table, let alone a power source– it's so loud that you want to headbutt your Math104 textbook. The point is, your regular study spots suck. If you're not willing to stay secluded in your room but don't want to go downtown for a quiet corner, let UTB guide you in the direction of your dream study space.
WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS SQUIRRELS.
In the end, nonprofits like the East Park Revitalization Alliance, an urban greening organization, and Play On! Philadelphia, an after-school music group, were awarded the money that had been divvied up between five groups. Well, that's one way to use $100,000.
More Details On Meyerson Evacuation– As The DP reports, a mysterious black briefcase left in front of Meyerson's front entrance is speculated to have been the cause of the half hour-long evacuation of the design building earlier today. Again, although there were allegations of a bomb threat, nothing actually transpired this afternoon and thankfully, no one was injured.
Class of 2015, STEP OFF. In just a few moments, applicants for Penn's Class of 2016 will find out if they snagged one of the 1,148 spots open for early decision. As The DP reports, the acceptance rate this year dropped to 25.4% from 26.1% last year. Admissions! They're kind of scary.
[Disclaimer: Papyrus is such a joke. So is this post.] Have you ever looked at how many classes are offered at Penn each semester? A buttload! One whole buttload. And it's overwhelming! If you're like us and haven't finalized your classes for next semester (or haven't picked out any at all)– or even if you have– let UTB direct you to the raddest courses offered in upcoming spring term.
[Disclaimer: Papyrus is such a joke. So is this post.] Finals are coming up soon! This sucks, we know. But you know what doesn't suck? Getting free stuff! Luckily for you, we've teamed up with some of Penn's favorite campus institutions to get you more of what you want. It's like Groupon, but for stuff you actually want to use– like not kankle removal or cupcake decorating classes. You're welcome in advance.
Earlier this fine evening, we received an email from Leah Popowich about President Gutmann's study break on Sunday. Attached was the holly jolly eyesore seen above. Poinsettia border. Lollipop clipart (?). Multiple exclamation points. AND COMIC SANS. Amy! What. Were. You. Thinking?!
In the 1930s, Penn had an annual women's dance: the Pirate's Ball. It was all fun, frocks and hooker boots until, according to superstar alumna Ruth Branning Molloy, a prisoner got hold of some spicy pirate pic and started writing to one of the women in it. (...How'd that happen?) And then they stopped holding the Pirate's Ball. Mid-century prisoners! This is why we can't have nice things.
WUUUUUUUB WOBBLE WOBBLE EEEEEEE ERRRRRR DUR DUR DUR REEEE EEEEEEB WUB WUB WUB WU- WU- WU- WUB WOBBLE. WUUUB WUUUB WERR WUUUB. WOB.*
How was your Thanksgiving? That's good. Ours was fine. How was your Black Friday? That's good. Our was fine. How was your weekend? That's good. Ours was HORRIBLE because we procrastinated and now we have 20 papers to write. Tell us it's going to be okay? Smiley face?
November is Philadelphia's most beautiful month. This is a fact. There's so little light these days that seeing the sunset (this one, taken around 5) is especially striking. It seems unfair to post this image when the real thing was so beautiful, but we'll let it serve as reminder of what's waiting for you when you get back from Thanksgiving break. Are we getting mushy on you (again)? Yes. Do we sometimes forget how lovely West Philadelphia can be? Probably. Got any more nice fall pics? Send them our way.
DID YOU SEE ALL THIS FLOODING ON 34TH AND WALNUT? OUR FRIENDS AT NBC PHILADELPHIA DID. DID YOU SEE THIS FLOODING AT THE SCHUYLKILL THIS SUMMER? WE DID. RAIN! WHEN WILL IT END? /endcapslockwhew
Fire At American Apparel– A lightbulb short-circuited over a box of scarves and the store went up in flames! Employees say the blaze in under control now, but the 37th and Walnut store will be closed for the next few hours. This is where we'd make a joke about American Apparel being too cool for fire, but we're not that lame.