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(11/01/11 4:34pm)
It's finally here! The ubiquitous sensation most call "No Shave November," or "Movember" is the month when frat bros and scruffy GDIs unite in their collective ability to grow fantastic food catchers beards and 'staches. To get into the Grizzly Adams spirit, we've come up with a few ways you can participate in No Shave November without compromising your sanity (i.e. looking like a serial killer at Thanksgiving dinner).
Use a comb. Girls do it. Your mom does it. You can do it. Brushing the bird's nests out of your beard instantly brightens up your appearance. If you're feeling extra wild, splurge on some CVS brand pomade! Because you're worth it.
Get fancy. Hair may not be your first priority (see next bullet point), but don't let that repress your coif creativity. Entrench yourself in Penn's past by growing a Du Bois, or, if you're feeling extra radical, try a Marx! More inspiration can be found here.
But not TOO fancy. You = college guy = getting laid is still your #1 priority. Keep that in mind before you go all Sean Connery on us.
Avoid future employers. You may have kicked ass and taken names during OCR, but unless you're trying to make waves in the logging industry, now is the time to lay low. Then again, you could always take advantage of the scruff by making your debut on It's Always Sunny as "Homeless Man #17." Think positive!
Remember: you are what you eat. Sandwiches? Super! Pizza? Go for it. Nachos? STOP RIGHT THERE. Snacks are one thing, but beard snacks are an entirely different animal. Literally, an animal. One that smells. And lives on your face. Don't feed that face pet anything but love.
Feeling left out, ladies? Don't! There's no better way to avenge the 30 ensuing days of beard burn than by "forgetting" to shave your legs for a month.
(10/31/11 8:55pm)
Though this hand-scribbled sign is nearly invisible thanks to DRL's dark corridors, it reads, "Do Not Ever, Ever Tamper With Or Disable the Alarm." Just what we need: more proof that Penn cares about fire prevention.
(10/26/11 1:22pm)
(10/25/11 1:03pm)
Halloween is almost here!
(10/23/11 5:58pm)
It's Sunday afternoon, you're holed up in VP and what are you doing? Not studying, of course. Though many of us have honed the valuable skills necessary to hunt for undiscovered Netflix treasure and still submit that paper on time, there's always room for improvement (after all, practice makes perfect, right?). Behold, dear readers, UTB's Ultimate Guide To Procrastination(on-on-on)!:
(10/20/11 4:45pm)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PG_2nfcLxao&feature=channel_video_title
Do you like to laugh? More specifically, do you like to laugh at giant corporations and the state of the economy? WELL then, you might enjoy Bloomers' upcoming Fall show, "GoopleFace: OCR We There Yet?"! See video above for a full explanation plus--bonus!--three girls dressed as bigwigs. The Facebook event can be found here.
(10/18/11 4:24pm)
Another day, another outlet to satiate your anti-social drunchies.
(10/18/11 1:55pm)
The World's Greatest--In yet another seemingly arbitrary competition, Penn makes the cut for Huffington Post's list of World's Best Universities.
(10/13/11 4:36pm)
Fall Break is over, which means the onset of preemptive end-of-semester-what-the-eff-am-I-doing-with-my-life panic is officially here! Solution? More extracurriculars, obviously. We've compiled a list of the top ten most unique, interesting and out-there clubs we think have the potential to be really neat experiences (seriously!).*
(10/12/11 2:28pm)
Indie Rock Fo' Free -- Did you forget Deer Tick and fun. are coming to Harrison Auditorium this Friday? You can still buy tickets online for $10, OR you can click here for a chance to win two, free of charge.
(10/10/11 6:04pm)
We know Fall Break is for going home and spending quality time with your family getting wasted to the tune of high school memories, but we can't help but miss Penn just a little. Here's a reminder of the home sweet home (ahem, Freshmen) you'll be returning to come Wednesday, give or take a fireplace (seriously?! a fireplace in the Quad???) and a few 111 years.
(10/06/11 12:52am)
Just when you thought your daily dose of awkward musical performances had ended, here we are to tell you it so hasn't. Spotted (by a non-smart phone's shitty 3.2 megapixel camera) outside Huntsman today was this mystery man, just casually strumming away at the ol' ukulele (do people say that? we hope so). But wait! He, like, TAs here? We got the details from a tipster in his class:
(10/04/11 2:04pm)
Hey, look! We found a Craigslist Missed Connection that isn't bat-shit psycho and might actually be about you! Or you! Or...yue! (sorry boys, but not you):
(10/03/11 1:49am)
Spotted at the intersection of 38th and Spruce yesterday afternoon was...this. Is it a modern interpretation of a rickshaw? A getaway from a particularly bad wedding reception? The return of the covered wagon? We have no idea!!! Which is why it rules. Hey, Penngineers--Christmas is only 83 days away. Call us.
(10/01/11 2:33pm)
This visual gem was sent to us by a tipster in King's Court. Imagine the confusion of all the hungover diners this morning when they walked over to the cereal thinking, "I'm going to make a healthfully conscious decision and spend my $13 swipe on a bowl of Special K(rap) so I can puke up something other than Vodka Red Bull later," but instead they were greeted with a sassy lil' snap, crackle and pop pop! Also, "fruit" loops? We may be Penn students, but we know our grammatically counterintuitive breakfast foods. KC, we love you girlfriend, but this time you got served.
(09/29/11 7:30pm)
(f)ART--Do you have free time and five bucks? Check out the Film & Animation Festival at the International House (3701 Chestnut)! It's running tonight through Sunday, and there'll be neat things like short films, workshops and "horror showcases". Eek!
(09/28/11 4:43pm)
Falafel is something of an elusive white unicorn. Whether too soggy, too bland or...dare we say it...too moist (blech!), this middle eastern staple is very easy to screw up. On the other hand, when it's good (like, actually), those crunchy balls are comparable to crystal meth. So when we heard Crisp was opening in Center City, we took matters into our own hands and embarked on a very serious investigation.
(09/27/11 5:24pm)
There are many creative outlets into which Penn students thrust themselves. Writing, performing, finding ways to fit a grill in your pocket--you get the idea. While these things are, yes, totally fulfilling and wonderful excuses to draft 17 versions of your Emmy acceptance speech for a supporting role as an underappreciated Whartonite who can't operate a can of whipped cream (see 1:43), some outlets have been left untapped by the Quaker touch.
(09/24/11 5:35pm)
Museumheckyes--Did y'all know today is Museum Day? This is your chance to learn a bunch of cool shit for free (without asking your parents to cough up an annual 50k)! Yay! Check out a list of who's participating here.
(09/22/11 6:03pm)
Finding a job is no easy feat. Whether your strategy involves seducing every OCR hottie within earshot or sucking Career Services dry of useless meaningful advice, grabbing hold of the elusive "we'd like to offer you a position at so-and-so" can be a struggle for those of us who aren't the president of three clubs or didn't grow up shmoozing with D-Trump's offspring in inflatable kiddie pools. But let's forget about the word "career" for a second. There are plenty of opportunities for you to make money without the pressures of hardcore networking, redundant data entry or thinking about your future.