Send Us Texts From Fling, Volume IV
(04/08/14 8:30pm)
With Fling in full swing, How could you not, Send us the embarrassing drunk texts that you got?
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With Fling in full swing, How could you not, Send us the embarrassing drunk texts that you got?
One of these nights you've probably stumbled upon the new babies of Penn's senior societies (or more likely, they stumbled into you). These newbs are a rare breed, and can be seen frolicking across campus throwing up ambiguous finger signs; things us plebs would only dream of doing!
Calling All HubBub Addicts -- FREE coffee at HubBub today! All house brew is on the house, get it while supplies last!
Welcome back to Penn Madness, the only election/bracket/multiple choice that isn't driving you, well, mad. The votes are in, and here are the final four (RIP DFMO). The competition is getting fierce, Quakers. Like, Penn admission fierce. Who will face off in the final round? You decide. Hurrah for Round Three, let madness ring! [poll id="88"][poll id="89"]
Unless you're a freshman, you've realized that sublet season is the Regina George of your summer plans (the bitch that stole Aaron Samuels ruins EVERYTHING). Finding a room or a subletter can be tough...like speaking up when the Houston salad gal skimps you on candied walnuts tough. And you want your room to be clean? Forgetaboutit.
Midterms, big/little, Apes uptowns, oh my! As we enter another week of cold weather and work, all we can think about is how much we are over it...all of it. But with a whopping 12 moons standing between us and complete inebriation liberation, we might as well make the most of our time before break (read: avoid work at all costs). Here is this week's lineup of events.
For those of you not feeling the love tonight, don't fret, we aren't either. But instead of playing the Grinch that stole V-Day (again), here's a list of dream Penn pairings that will probably make you feel cold and hungry, but we hope it makes you see that there's someone something out there for everyone!
As Philly temperatures approach single digits, we're reminded that the worst is far from over, and more snow (and work) is probably coming soon...as in Monday. This photo shows that apart from the weather, not much has changed at Penn since 1975. Except...WAIT, could it be?! WHERE IS THE BUTTON?!
Hello lovely gentlemen: the Vagina Monologues want you! Go celebrate sexual Wednesday with VagMons, PCUW, ASAP, and 1 in 4 as they host "A Call to Men", an event dedicated to examining and challenging the socialization of men. Ted Bunch, co-founder of A Call to Men, will be speaking about male social norms, culture, and traditional images of manhood.
As we set course for the 215 once more, we cannot help but groan a little. Our T-day leftovers include enough work for weeks, and with finals looming, have we no thanks left to give? Here's a list of things to give thanks for at Penn. Let it be the chicken soup for your soul.
Au revoir to the legal booze-slinging of Smoke's Capogiro. Apparently our favorite place to drown our sorrows in gelato has been a little too boozy, and just can't do this anymore. They're packing their bags, opening a new location in Old City, and TAKING THE LIQUOR LICENSE WITH THEM DAMN IT! Talk about dramatic.
Tis the season for Shoutouts-- LowBrow wants you to bare your soul, with a spoonful of truth and a hint (or heap) of vengeance. Speak your mind with no strings attached! They had it coming anyway. Submit your shoutouts here!
Senior Superlatives are among us, and it's time to single out Penn's hottest, most scandalous, and most legendary (namely, the biggest sword award). So here's another chance to shine bright like a diamond, and to avenge that senior society you were cut from (sweetie it's not you, it's them!).
Ah, homecoming. A weekend of football, basketball, alumni, and the perfect opportunity to study drink all day. This photo dates back to 1892, a homecoming to remember. After 27 straight losses to Princeton, Penn ended the streak, winning this game 6-4. Here's to a winsome weekend, sending a harmless puck you to our biggest sports rival. Happy Homecoming, Quakers. Stay safe and party hard.
Welcome to the new era of senior societies, where juniors step into the spotlight with dreams of joining the elite. With that said, congratulations to those who made cut! And to those with sunken hearts, you might be listening to a lot of Adele this week. But fear not darlings, there's always next spring.
Hear ye, hear ye! Calling all hungover Batmen and walk-of-shame sexy felines: now is your chance to repent your sins! Or rather, try to remember them. As per tradition, UTB wants to hear about your Halloween, but you can show better than you can tell.
We love a good TV show, and a good leather jacket, and not necessarily in that order. Who better to show off both than Penn grad, news reporter, world-class journalist, and award-winning author H.G. "Buzz" Bissinger, author of the famous Friday Night Lights. After graduating from a ~prep~ school in Massachusetts, Bissinger transitioned to Penn where he began his rise to fame at none other than The Daily Pennsylvanian.
You probably haven't seen this post, mostly because no one reads Townhall. But lucky for us, Townhall reads UTB, and the charming Cortney O'Brien had something to say about our Bristol Palin post (as did internet junkies, see the comments). Despite the fact that the advertisements were both funny and convincing, UTB did not create them.
The sun is shining, the wind tunnel is freezing, and the line for HubBub's new storefront is nearing Kings Court (wherever that is). After what feels like a century, HubBub is finally open, and my oh my is she a beaut. The first independent coffee retailer on campus in what seems like forever, HubBub's got delicious coffee, tasteful décor, and an owner who is sexy and he knows it. Slap on some lipstick and get in line, because good things come to those who wait ;)
A proud teen mama, (and Teen Pregnancy Prevention Ambassador...huh,) Bristol Palin has travelled the U.S. advocating for abstinence, earning her the name "The Worst Person In The World". Now, thanks to some questionably-legit fliers, she's coming to Penn! No offense B, but Penn kids are active, and the university dishes out more free condoms than acceptance letters. But hey, make yourself at home, just don't be shocked when we choose bad sex over no sex.