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(01/21/13 5:18pm)
If you stole one of the small trees from outside Metro, the fine dining establishment (prone to many petty thefts) asks that you please return it. And don't try to compensate with a larger, better tree that you found outside Tap House, okay, wise guy? They just want their original small tree back. There is planter symmetry at stake!
In other news, who stole the grilled onion cheddar burger sign from McDonald's?
(01/17/13 2:49pm)
15% off at William's Cafe today—if you wear your Greek letters (or borrow your roommate's).
(01/10/13 3:44pm)
Yesterday, the NYTimes cast a spotlight on a group of eight Penn freshmen who are questioning not only traditional gender norms but traditional LGBT norms as well, and dubbed them Generation LGBTQIA.
(01/09/13 3:30pm)
To the lovely gentlemen of the University and the odd lady here and there who's seriously diggin' Elmo, check out the menu for this year's IFC rush. Highlights include Baby Blue's, Five Guys and Franklin Fountain milkshakes. If you have no idea what a frat is or how to join one, click here and here respectively, and then step out from under that rock—it must be heavy! (Click on the image to make it blow up to full human vision size.)
(01/04/13 6:49pm)
Today, the NYTimes travel section takes us on a journey across land, sea and time to the mystical land of Philadelphia. Oooooh. Exotic.
(12/14/12 2:56pm)
Ugh, people who seriously indulge in and get really heated over the "papers vs. exams" debate. Newsflash: when you've got an exam, you'd rather just sit at home and write a paper, and when you've got a paper, you'd rather just bang out an exam.
(12/11/12 6:46pm)
Although classes are over, International Relations professor Frank Plantan used the major's listserv today to teach his students one final lesson about the most powerful language that binds all people across nations and cultures: math music. But also, can someone please come play at his annual holiday party this weekend? The Penn Musicians Against Homelessness unfortunately bailed again.
(12/11/12 3:15pm)
Hey, look! Our anonymous tip box is back. So use it!
(12/07/12 9:53pm)
The Onion gets in on the Joke Day fun—with this article about a truly groundbreaking and jaw-dropping Penn study.
(12/06/12 3:14pm)
[Disclaimer: This post was part of our Joke Day series. Didn't the font tip you off?] Before he was appearing on the big screen as Agent 007, Britain's most notorious spy, the only identifying three digits in Daniel Craig's life were preceded by a SAS subject code.
(12/05/12 9:11pm)
Product Design professor David Robertson really loves his students. Sometimes, when he goes home, he even misses them. Other times, he misses them so much that he wishes he could take them all home with him. To soothe his aching heart, Robertson constructed an intricate seating chart out of Legos with personalized figures to stand in for each of his beloved students.
Last week, Robertson presented his project to the class (which gave it "like, an overall A for concept and design, I guess, and maybe like a B for utility and function") and allowed each student to take home his or her Lego clone. Cute was had by all.
(11/30/12 3:44pm)
Winterfest from 12-2PM at Wynn Commons— "It's basically like a fall semester Fling!" said no one ever.
(11/23/12 2:02pm)
Oh, so you ate a bit of turkey, instagrammed a few pies, made a little awkward eye contact with your hot cousin, and now you think you did Thanksgiving hardcore? Ha, you're cute. How 'bout you compare your notes against our Official Thanksgiving Checklist (which may or may not also double as a retroactive drinking game) and see just how well you fared on the big day.
Sat at the kids table — extra shot of spiked cider if you're the oldest cousin
Came out as as humanities major — kamikaze shot if you also dropped Pre-Med
Were asked by your grandparents if they could set you up with their friends' landlord's son who's only 27 — shot for each additional degree of separation and a screwdriver if you said yes
Endured other people's "back in the day" college stories
Scheduled your evening hookup while sitting next to Nana
Played some sort of post-meal game with the family — extra shot if you cheated
Started eating leftovers within the same hour that dessert was cleared
Watched the last Twilight movie "as a joke"
Made separate appointments with each of your home friends — shot for each friend you didn't eventually bail on
Read the Dec./Jan. issue of Seventeen/male equivalent (Sports Illustrated for Kids?) that Mom keeps updating your subscription for
Got a haircut — get on one knee and chug that Smirnoff Ice if Mom scheduled it for you (be honest)
Did homework — treat yourself to a glass of 50-proof lamesauce
(11/19/12 3:04pm)
UA Airport Shuttles— Don't live in New York or New Jersey? Meeting Mother and Father at your Thanksgiving home in Vail? Spending the holiday abroad with your Big? Be sure to hit up this cheap, easy ride to the airport.
(11/15/12 5:09pm)
Can't go on without knowing who won last night's BMOC? We've got ya covered. PJ Hobson placed first, followed by Derek Osei-Bonsu and Tommy Yin. Do these names mean absolutely nothing to you? Check out last week's Ego of the Week interview here.
(11/13/12 5:34pm)
Classless, Penn's favorite (and only?) student-run online sitcom series, is finally back! And if the first webisode is any indication, the newspaper-staff-definitely-not-loosely-based-on-the-DP has a lot in store as it make moves into its second year. Viewers are sure to meet some fresh faces, reconnect with old stars, and finally have something to do during that awkward 30-minute gap between classes.
(11/05/12 9:35pm)
Missing Bill Clinton's words of wisdom? Oh no! Is Bill going to sway young minds to vote for Obama while you sit pointlessly in recitation? Did he come to Penn hoping to find his next nice, Jewish intern? We don't know, but we hope you stay tuned via our live-tweet feed to find out!
(11/02/12 9:50pm)
These banana nut muffins? Yeah, they've got nuts in them. Isn't that totally bananas?!
(10/31/12 10:45pm)
These tattered guys and ghouls got freakishly festive today, performing a bloody zombie flash dance by the Tampons (appropriate). It was thrilling.
(10/24/12 11:01pm)
Brought to you by the South Asia Society, IAA and SPEC, Kal Penn, long-lost descendant of state founder William Penn and brother-in-law-twice-removed of actor Sean Penn, will be gracing our-school-Penn (unrelated) with his presence on Sunday, November 4th at 7PM.