A-Gut Lifts Campus Ban On MJ
(12/04/14 1:59pm)
[Disclaimer: This post was part of our annual Joke Day series. As if we would ever use this font seriously.]
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[Disclaimer: This post was part of our annual Joke Day series. As if we would ever use this font seriously.]
The best thing about Thanksgiving break is obvs the food, but slightly inappropriate, always hilarious quotes from your drunk uncle come in at a close second. We rounded up the gems from our respective families for your post-break entertainment. You are so welcome.
We can't believe that Penn gives us a whole two days off for Thanksgiving Break. As much as we love reuniting with our loved ones over this long weekend, we also understand that living without a serial shitter can be a bit of a let down. Your heart fills with longing as your nose fills with the all-too-pleasant scent of a Glade candle. That's why we decided to bring you 25 ways to make your stay at home feel, well, a little bit more home-away-from-homey.
Once upon a time Hill College House wasn't drowning and the Quad wasn't plagued by filthy animals. Dear Freshmen: this is the "Year Of Health," so making your hall (read: THE PLACE YOU LIVE) more disgusting than the BioPond isn't really what makes Amy happy. And you won't like Amy when she's angry.
From the hooligans who brought you 100 Things I Have To Do Today, Ugh, and got retweeted by Wawa for loving them so much, comes what can only be described as a collaboration of epic proportions.
From the hooligans who brought you 100 Things I Have To Do Today, Ugh, and got retweeted by Wawa for loving them so much, comes what can only be described as a collaboration of epic proportions.
From the hooligans who brought you 100 Things I Have To Do Today, Ugh and got retweeted by Wawa for loving them so much, comes what can only be described as a collaboration of epic proportions.
From the hooligans who brought you 100 Things I Have To Do Today, Ugh and got retweeted by Wawa for loving them so much, comes what can only be described as a collaboration of epic proportions. Here are 101 Things To Do While Waiting For The High Rise Elevators! Feel free to try some out, but we have to insist that you proceed with caution.
Welcome to our first edition of RDAP, where we roam the weekend streets and talk to people at their not quite finest but definitely funniest moments. In line for the keg, in line outside, behind the bar, next to the speakers, low-key ducking behind the trash cans, we will find you. And make you famous. Meet our first dude, whose jolly drunken face shall of course remain completely anonymous.
Yo, if you haven't heard, Mayor Nutter is slated to sign a bill that'll decriminalize marijuana. The bad news? Penn could give a dusty fuck. Because as this PhillyMag article (ugh) points out, campus administration will be maintaining its disciplinary policies regardless.
Yo, if you haven't heard, Mayor Nutter is slated to sign a bill that'll decriminalize marijuana. The bad news? Penn could give a dusty fuck. Because as this PhillyMag article (ugh) points out, campus administration will be maintaining its disciplinary policies regardless.
Early last week, Bloomberg Businessweek decided the world must know about a Wharton MBA white party. We have many, many questions:
We immediately dismissed the above email as a new campus startup (Uber for Fundamentalist Groups!) but quickly entered crISIS mode. Now, we're the same people who found PENN15 funny, but that's where acronyms gone awry should end. In any case, we clicked on the link (duh) and were directed to a SEAS site (screenshot below) run by the Materials Science department offering us three steps, of which we understood none.
We immediately dismissed the above email as a new campus startup (Uber for Fundamentalist Groups!) but quickly entered crISIS mode. Now, we're the same people who found PENN15 funny, but that's where acronyms gone awry should end. In any case, we clicked on the link (duh) and were directed to a SEAS site (screenshot below) run by the Materials Science department offering us three steps, of which we understood none.
Presented with anonymity and without commentary, above is a Snapchat tipped to us that we thought we'd never see. We'll pause while you pick your jaw up from the floor. This Van Pelt fellatio leaves us flabbergasted; the library lewdness leaves us questioning its logistics. Sound off in the comments: is it staged? Authentic? Who are they? Why did they do it? WTF?!
Alc Monitors Out In Full Force This NSO -- Several little birdies have informed us Greek presidents were warned of much stricter alcohol monitoring this weekend, you underaged drunkards. Rumor has it they wanted to keep it much more under wraps than April's pre-Fling frenzy, so oops...guess the potential disciplinary action will be less of a plot twist than they'd hoped. Then again, isn't this increased monitoring shocker getting old and nearly expected at this point? Play safe, kiddos.
Now that it's officially August, we're starting our NSO countdown, because tbh we're ready to go back and start a new year. And what better way to ring in a new year than to give the new class a "formal" introduction?
We know you're tired, most likely smelly, and have lost track of how many red bulls you've funneled into your body. There are lots of feels and you think you might explode... into SONG. Sometimes the right jam can make even the worst situation slightly more tolerable. UTB has the perfect playlist for everything you are bound 2 experience this week. Let's take a musical journey.
Yep, that's right — it's April 22nd. Earth Day. While you were SABSing on College Green and admiring this beautiful spring day, it probably didn't even once cross your mind that the Earth is having a great hair day too, thanks for noticing, and it just wants a little respect.
Have you ever wanted to compliment someone you don't know? Someone you do know? Do you want to remain anonymous? Well, you already could...but now you can again with a new app called Notice.