OP-ED: I Just Showed up Fifteen Minutes Late to This Lecture with a Giant Motorized Scooter and I Want to Make a Scene

I know I might be a little intrusive, but I just really need to sit in the front row to concentrate. I find that sitting too far away from the professor creates a divide that’s challenging to get over, and it makes my undiagnosed ADHD run wild.  

On top of that, I understand if people find it upsetting that I am showing up fifteen minutes late to this lecture, but I can explain: I live off campus (by 40th and Walnut), and this lecture is in DRL, so I have to rush here every morning, and today I just happened to be running a little behind schedule.  

Some might also take issue with my large motorized scooter that I bring with me everywhere, but I hope everyone can understand how much time it saves me.  Even if I have to travel fifty yards or less, my scooter is the optimal form of transportation. It might by the size of a small bench, but it is absolutely essential to who I am as a person. In ten years, when everyone is using these babies instead of walking, I promise—I’ll be the one laughing.  

So yeah, while I may be disrespectful to the professor and everyone around me, this is just who I am. If I happen to hit you across the face with the sharp metal hinge of my scooter, so be it. That is the price of self-expression and commitment to a good education.