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Senior Girl With $2,400 Rent to Literally Never Leave Smokes


Photo by Ed Schipul / CC BY-SA 2.0

Christie Satterfield (C ’19) doesn’t love her new apartment at The Brian. Sure, it has super cute granite countertops in the kitchen and bathrooms, the most lovely waterfall shower and multi-jet bathtub, and such a quaint planetarium off the living room. But it just doesn’t feel like home sweet home. 

No need to worry, though. Satterfield has discovered an more familiar housing alternative for the year: The Joseph, better known as Smokes!

It makes perfect sense! She’ll continue receiving monthly Venmo payments of $2,400 from her parents to pay her rent at The Brian, but Satterfield will dip into her monthly shopping allowance to fund rent at new home. She was planning on going to Smokes literally every night of the week anyway, so why even bother leaving to go home?

Smokes is the perfect place for Satterfield to live during her last year at Penn. Her meal plan of pizza and garlic knots will leave her energized and carb-loaded for the day and night. She’ll never be thirsty with an entire bar just steps away from her bed of the soft-cushioned corner booth, and she gets to host dinner parties with the world-renowned Kenn Kweder as entertainment!

We’ll be sure to stop by for a visit way too soon, Christie! Green tea shots on us.