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Mom Makes Sure to Let Her Gay Daughter Know That the Guy Across the Hall Is Super Cute


Photo by Dennis van Zuijlekom / CC BY-SA 2.0

Even though Kristen Polman (N ’22) came out as gay at the ripe age of 15, her mother, Stacy Polman, sometimes just can’t help herself—especially during this past Parents Weekend.

“I support my daughter and her lifestyle choices,” Polman’s mother insisted, “but I think it would do her a great deal of good to know that the blond, 6-foot-tall boy across the hall is really cute and that she should be friends with him. Kristen tends to keep to herself, especially around boys, and that’s such a shame.”

Polman, who does not get along with said hallmate, decided to ignore her mother’s suggestions, despite her mom's repeated insistence that if she were still in college he would be the kind of guy she would have fallen for. 

The elder Polman, who is just looking out for her daughter, added, “Make sure to keep your shoulders back sweetie, and stop wearing those Doc Martens boots—you look like a solider!” 

“I don’t know why she keeps saying that," Polman sighed. "She knows I’m in ROTC."