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Students Can Now Use LibCal to Sexile Their Roommates

Photo by Carson Kahoe / The Daily Pennsylvanian

Gone are the days of neckties on your doorknob and drunk texts at 2:00 a.m. kindly asking your roommate to fuck off to their friend’s couch. Students are now able to conveniently schedule their hookups directly through LibCal.

Not all students are pleased with the new policy. Last weekend, Jillian Fender (W ‘22), a resident of Ware College House, was having a mundane Saturday night when she heard three loud knocks on her door. At the door was her roommate Sarah, who peeked her head through and told her, “I’m so sorry to kick you out, but I reserved Ware 203 from 11-1 tonight.”

“It really pissed me off,” Jillian said. “So I did the only sensible thing and reserved my neighbor Brad’s room from 11:30-1:30. You snooze, you lose, Brad.”

Within hours of the new policy’s implementation, every dorm room on campus was reserved for the next three months. UTB can confirm that Brad indeed slept through the chaos and has no place to live until February.