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Cool, This Dude Leaned So Far Back In His Chair That He’s Basically In My Lap


Photo (with edits) from Pxhere / CC0 and Pilatesball / CC BY-SA 3.0

Um, excuse me. Can I help you? What are you doing? You know there’s other people in this class, right?

Oh, wow, you’re really just going for it. Sure thing, just lean aaallllllll the way back buddy. The world is your goddamn playground. Who are we but pawns in your personal agenda?

Okay this is getting super weird now. Usually I’ll know a guy a little better before he fucking lays his head in my lap. Are you serious bro? This is like some multidimensional manspreading shit.

How can you be this unaware of your surroundings? Oh, great, now you’re stretching. Cool cool cool. All of this is cool. Get your arms out of my face! Now you’re just being obnoxious. No one is impressed that you’re stretching your triceps in the middle of this lecture: you just look like an asshole.

Okay, only two minutes left of class. Then I can accidentally slam this guy’s head with my backpack or something. Never sitting behind him again.