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Wow, This Privileged Penn Student Can’t Think of Anything to Be Thankful For


Photo (with edits) from Pxhere / CC0

When Professor Marisa Hopper had the idea to let students go around and say what they’re thankful for during the class after Thanksgiving, she thought it would be a nice and easy exercise. At first, everything went just fine.

Some of the answers were a bit lame, but nothing to be concerned about. The first few students said things like “the opportunity to study at this school” (nerd) or “my metabolism” (weird flex but okay), while others gave weirdly specific answers like “my grandmother’s fried zucchini recipe” or “nature.”

Eventually, some of the answers started getting repeated: “my internship at Goldman Sachs” and “my Canada Goose jacket” were popular culprits. Others seemed to be just flaunting their connections, saying things like “my close personal relationship with my dear friend Michelle, oh and of course President Obama and the girls as well.

But the majority of students had fairly wholesome answers. They were thankful for their families, their friends, their health, and their proximity to Starbucks. It wasn’t until the line reached senior Lindsey Weltport that the real problem started.

When it was Weltport’s turn, she simply shrugged and said, “I can’t think of anything to be thankful for.” The other students all turned to stare.

Weltport elaborated, “Okay, well, I only got a full-time job offer from Accenture. That's like, not even in the Big 3. And sure, my family is extremely supportive, but I mean, my mom wants to FaceTime way too often.”

Hopper and the other students remained shocked as Weltport took a swig from her diamond-encrusted S'Well water bottle and crossed her legs, showing off her Louboutins.

I guess everyone else is just more shallow than I am.”