Report: Air Quality in Hotboxed VP Bathroom Better Than Average Room in Quad

A recent report from Penn Residential Services revealed that an average room in the Quad has worse air quality than a hotboxed bathroom on the fifth floor of Van Pelt.  The report comes after the discovery of mold in several rooms in the Quad.  

The report shows that the average room in the Quad not only contains spores of black mold, but also high levels of asbestos, sulfur, and several gasses that the UN has condemned as instruments of biological warfare.

A hotboxed VP bathroom, on the other hand, only showed elevated levels of smoke.  

“As we see it,” an author of the report told UTB, “living the the Quad is pretty much a death sentence. You’d be better off breathing in volcanic ash every day, then smoking a pack of cigarettes. Or hotboxing the fifth floor VP bathroom."

"But if you really care about lung health," she added, "you can't beat vaping in the stacks."