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Senior Turns 21, No One Gives a Fuck Cause Didn't That Happen Already? Wow, You're Young!


Photo by Wen Tong Neo / CC0

Senior Elise Harris was so excited to finally turn 21, a milestone she’d been looking forward to for years. When the day finally came, she was overjoyed to throw out her fake IDs, take her first legal trip to the liquor store but be nervous anyway, do lines off a Smoke’s toilet seat, and make life-shattering mistakes while blackout that would take days, if not weeks, to repair.

Harris invited 75 of her closest friends to celebrate at a party at her apartment, but they were surprised and even a bit disappointed to receive the Facebook event invitation

An anonymous acquaintance commented, “How is Elise just now turning 21? I turned 22 last month, and I kind of thought we were done with the whole 21st birthday thing. I guess I’ll go, but if she wears a sash or posts a photo with those obnoxious balloons, I swear to God...”

On the night of the party, Harris was faced with similar sentiments from friends new and old. Her freshman hallmate said that he “could have sworn this happened at least eight months ago, but that's cool anyway, I guess. Damn, how are you so young? What’s up with your school district? No preschool?”

Harris was a bit worn down with all the “fuck you and your late birthday” remarks by the end of the night, but she also slept on her bathroom floor, so she had more pressing concerns to address.