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OP-ED: Mom, I Swear I Tripped and That's Why There is a Circular Bruise on My Neck


Photo by L. greek / CC0

Yes Mom, these bruises on my neck are from when I fell down the stairs of my apartment building. Sure I live on the 23rd floor, but the elevators are slow, so you know I'm all over those stairs.

Plus, I have sensitive skin. The cold just does this to me sometimes. And that brings me to why I'm wearing a turtleneck. Also, it’s called fashion, Mom. 

Actually, I don’t think these are bruises. I'm pretty sure those Philly mosquitoes really did a number on my neck. 

Oh, a Snapchat from Tyler? He’s just a guy — who lives across from me. But he’s allergic to my neck. How do I know? Stop asking so many questions, Mom.