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Sophomore Pleads 5th Amendment in Class After Not Doing Readings


Photo by yashmori / CC BY 2.0

Tensions were running at an all-time high when College sophomore Suzie Reyes chose not to do the readings for her LGST 100 class.

“On the advice of my attorneys, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution of the United States not to incriminate myself of not doing the readings,” said Reyes.

Reyes thought she had just come up with a brilliant legal loophole out of any awkward in-class situation, whilst still getting points for participation.

“Suzie, I didn’t cold-call you. You volunteered yourself,” said LGST 100 Professor Eileen Rowe. “And also, why the hell you do you have lawyers follow you around whispering advice in your ear?”

Reyes' lawyers would not receive further questions on behalf of their client.