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Heroic Student Bankrupts Publisher, Destroys Capitalism by Downloading PDF Copy of Textbook


Photo by Vladimir Petkov / CC BY-SA 2.0

Last Friday evening, Alvin Weintraub (C ‘22) sent media companies nationwide into disarray when he downloaded an illegal PDF copy of Becker’s World of the Cell (9th Edition).

“Education is for the people!” Weintraub screamed in Van Pelt as he bravely typed “beckers world of the cell 9th edition pdf free download no viruses” into an Incognito window.

Onlookers stared in reverence as Weintraub, Champion of the Proletariat, proceeded to download and skim through a buggy version of the required text for his biology course.

“The losses from Mr. Weintraub’s actions have been immense,” Pearson CEO John Fallon declared, watching his bank account roll down by pennies. “The company is going down the drain, all thanks to that devilish genius of a man!”

Michael Hansen, the CEO of Cengage Learning, has also stepped forth to comment on the pain and damage internet piracy can cause.

“He’s downloading us out of house and home!” Hansen cried, surrounded by a sea of unsold textbooks. “I don’t know how much longer we can survive by just selling 100 dollar access codes.”

“Every time you download a textbook, that’s one less quarter a CEO gets to use in a parking meter,” Weintraub gloated, courageously loading “Thomas'_calculus_early_transcendentals_12th_ed_PDF_full_version_disable_antivirus_to_read_please.pdf” onto his laptop.

Wow, dude. Way to stick it to the man!