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"Guess I Can't Intern at Amazon Now," Says Student with No Previous Chance of Interning at Amazon


Photo by Jacopo / CC BY 2.0

As of last week, Amazon pulled out of their HQ2 plans for Queens, closing off anticipated job opportunities for many. So, basically, as of last week, senior Whartonite Jeremy Anders’ life was ruined. 

“My dream since I was little was to work for the gorgeous and all-powerful Jeff Bezos,” said Anders in an interview. “Okay, maybe not since I was little, but at least since like… last year.” 

Anders self-reported a hard-earned 2.8 GPA, and described his admission to Penn as “totally not because I’m legacy.” Our sources overheard Anders on the phone with his parents, stating “I swear I was just about to start the application for summer too… darn… ”

When questioned on the option of working for an already existing Amazon HQ, Anders pretended to take a call from “another big company,” and ran away as he rounded the corner out of the interview room.