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Short King! This Girl Is Taking E.T. to Her Date Night


Photo (with edits) by Couleur / Editorial Use Only and by Lauren Sorantino / The Daily Pennsylvanian

Huge win! College senior Laura Fiorentino scored E.T. as her date to her sorority's final date night

Fiorentino had been crushing on E.T. from afar for months when she suddenly found the courage to approach him.

"It's senior spring, so I felt like it was now or never," she remarked. E.T.'s answer to Fiorentino's invitation: a resounding yes.

Fiorentino had known this short king for years, and it was love at first sight. She fell for him freshman year when she saw him riding down Spruce in a children's bike basket. 

"He was mostly obscured by this gray blanket thing, but I could see his piercing blue eyes and tan, leathery skin peeking out from underneath," she reported. That's when I knew."

When Fiorentino shared the exciting news with her friends, they weren't as supportive as she had hoped they would be.

"No way. Nope. He is bad news," her friend Debbie Maneski (C '19) responded. Maneski had attended a date night with E.T. a few semesters ago and had an unpleasant experience: she caught him hooking up with someone else's date in the bathroom.

Another friend Luce Morlett (C '20) agreed. "We just don't want you to get hurt like Debbie did," said Morlett.

Nevertheless, Fiorentino persisted. She still fully intends to take E.T. to her date night. "They're just jealous that E.T. is my short king," Fiorentino said decisively.