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BREAKING: My Grandma Thinks That Fellow Has Too Many Tattoos


Photo by Justin Higuchi / CC BY 2.0

A recent statement from my grandma revealed that, in her opinion, lead singer of Maroon 5 Adam Levine has too many tattoos.

“What does that young fellow have all over his skin? He is very good looking I must say, but what is with the schmattas all over his chest area?

“Is he one of the foosball players? Why isn’t he wearing any clothes on top? I do enjoy watching these young lads fight over the foosball, but this young man is giving off the wrong impression with those tattoos. 

“Just a minute darling, did you say Adam Levine? You’re telling me this is a nice Jewish fellow? Well I just feel bad for his poor mother, seeing her little boy galavanting around like that. I’d guess he hasn’t been to synagogue in months. I might disown my son if he had that many ridiculous looking markings."

At the end of her outburst, grandma settled back down on the couch, redirected her attention to her sudoku, and gradually relaxed the judging, disappointed pout on her face into a look of self-satisfied smugness.