Help! My Grandma Started Using the Word Drip!

Ah, the holidays. It’s a time when we get to return home and spend time with our everyone in our families from our cool older sister to our weird and kind of racist uncle. We can look forward to getting questions like “have you met a nice boy yet?” and “what are you majoring in?” and “well that seems like fun, but what are you really majoring in, you know, for career prospects?” We can also look forward to gorging ourselves on food and lying on the couch for extended periods of time.

But apart from the usual things I expected from my time at home for Thanksgiving, I was not expecting the new slang that my Grandma had picked up. The first time it happened was when my sister and I were ordering clothes online on Black Friday. My Grandma looked over my shoulder at the sweater I had on the screen and said, “oh, sweetheart, you’ll be straight dripping in that darling jumper!” Thinking I hadn’t heard her right, I responded, “Did you just say dripping?”

“Well, yes, sweetie. You’ll look just adorable in that sweater, maybe you’ll finally be able to catch a suitable husband! There’s certainly no drip in the schmatta you usually wear.”

As my sister’s jaw dropped with mine, we watched my Grandma shed her fuzzy pink cardigan to reveal a sick gucci coat that was dripping more droppage than I’d ever seen drip before. As the puddle at her feet grew, we realized that Grandma had become cooler than we’d ever be. Wearing her best drip, she added a yarmulke because #fuckgenderroles, got into her new red convertible, and said, "get in losers, we're going to synagogue."