Penn Bacteria Club to Hold Monthly GBMs at Concourse Dance Bar
Photo by 3dman_eu / CC0
February 8, 2019 at 12:23 am
The exec board of the newly formed Penn Bacteria Club (PBC) has been on the hunt for the germiest, most disgusting place near campus to hold regular events. As the premier bacilli appreciation student group at Penn, they wanted their sacred meeting place to reflect the values and infections they hope to embody.
They had a few contenders in mind, such as a Huntsman computer lab, 1920 Commons restrooms, a locker room in Pottruck, or just sitting around a member’s apartment and passing around a frat’s half-full handle of Bankers after a weekend of parties while licking each other’s cellphones. However, PBC wanted an unparalleled Petri dish for their slimy GBMs.
After a semester-long search spanning the tri-state area, PBC has announced their headquarters, their Mecca, the cesspool to end all cesspools: Concourse Dance Bar.
All meetings and conferences held by PBC will take place in the Concourse ball pit, as their thorough scientific investigation concluded that this adult play pen has a spread of diseases, both sexually transmitted and not, that has not yet reached and will simply never reach corners of Penn’s campus.
Members are encouraged to open their mouths while surrounded by the balls and to wear minimal clothing at GBMs to maximize exposure to the glorious bugs. Their one constraint is the five-minute time limit in the ball pit, though they’re currently negotiating an acquisition with the club.
Additionally, all members are limited to one (1) Instagram photo with the caption “ballz deep.”