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Weird: Kevin is Going Home for Spring Break and He's Not Even Poor


Photo from Pixabay / free for commercial use

Punta Cana. Florida. PV. Europe. Thailand. Indonesia. Northern Africa, even.

There are literally a bunch of places to go to for spring break. That's why Kevin Dove's decision is so difficult to understand.

No one who knows Kevin, a junior in Wharton, thought he'd do this. But lo and behold, he has. He's going home for spring break, and he doesn't even live on an island.

Yeah, people go home for spring break instead of going to far-off, expensive places to get sunburned and drunk with their fraternity brothers, but those people are usually poor, I'm pretty sure. 

Kevin isn't poor. I mean, I've met his parents. His dad is kind of ugly and his mom is hot, so yeah, I bet he's rich. He has two pairs of AirPods, one to keep in his locker at the gym in case he forgets them and the other for every-day use. One time he was wearing Yeezys and called them his "beaters." The dude is loaded, okay?

So why the fuck is he going home for break? Maybe he needed to sign some paperwork related to his trust fund, or pick up some monogrammed shirts? Was there a death in the family or something? It seems like those things could wait until after break.

No one thought to ask Kevin until he'd already left. I figured he was going to PV instead of Bali, and I guess the PV guys thought he was going to Bali. The situation is pretty fucked, honestly, but I know he was invited to both. Everybody loves Kev. It looks like he just chose to go home.

I'd like to go to his house, too, because I think it's a big place in Colorado, and his mom is hot, like I said. But that's more of a summer trip, in my opinion, when it's too hot in the tropics. 

If anyone knows what's up with Kevin, let me know. Maybe his Samoyed is sick? That would be such a bummer, but he's not a vet, so he wouldn't be able to do much. Maybe he's just being a bitch.