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Valiant! This Junior Attended Mask and Wig’s “The Book of Mermen” Completely Sober


Photo by Wendy Wei / Pixels License 

Meet Drew Joseph (C ’20), the man who truly epitomizes gallantry and heroism. 

He has always been a dedicated fan of Mask and Wig, Penn’s all-male sketch comedy group. He would graciously accept their flyers on Locust and would even wait until he was out of their periphery to toss them in the garbage (generous!). 

He has attended almost all of their performances and made sure to audibly chuckle even for the less successful jokes. This was all made possible, of course, with any and all forms of pregaming. Whether it was chugging Franzia at an Italian BYO or stocking up on mint pods at wawa before the show, Drew made sure he was always in the right headspace to withstand large amounts of themed, all-male singing and dancing. 

This show, though, was unlike the others. With a blood alcohol content of 0.00%, Joseph stepped through the doors of the Mask and Wig Clubhouse ready to sit through 150 minutes of an underwater-themed wild ride of a musical filled with jazz squares and ocean-related jests. 

“I didn’t even hit the pen or anything!” Joseph exclaimed in an emotional interview with UTB staff. “It was crazy, but I am glad I did it, and I am a different person standing before you today because of it.”