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All Penn Landscaping Decisions Reduced to What Flowers Will Bloom for Quaker Days


Photos (with edits by Adam First) by Adam First / The Daily Pennsylvania and Donnie Ray Jones / CC BY 2.0

Let’s look at the facts. Penn currently has prospective students on campus who are not normally here. Penn now also has flowers on Locust that were not there before. Coincidence? I think not! 

That’s right: the University Landscaping and Labor Arboriculturism department (or ULALA for short) has been tasked with selecting flowers that will be in full bloom for Quaker days. Unlike Penn students, these flowers are capable of hitting deadlines, no extensions necessary. 

In order to keep this operation as covert as possible, ULALA has only been referring to flower types by their scientific names. The most popular species thus far have been the Growius Fastia, the Comehere Pleas, and the Weare Better Thanyale. 

ULALA would not confirm the theories of planting pretty flowers just for Quaker Days. But, like, they didn’t deny it either…