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Rock Bottom? Stevie Just Gopuff'd Juul Pods to Van Pelt


Photo buy sarahjohnson1 / CC0

Stevie Schwartz (C ’20) had a lot on her plate. Between studying for her Survey of the Universe exam and writing a three-page essay for her gender studies class, she was stressed like no Penn student has been before. That stress could not compare to the feeling that she got when, sitting in a public third floor study room, she got a taste of the bitter dregs of an empty Juul pod.

What was she to do? She had left her pods back at her house on 39th street, and there was no chance she was willing to walk six blocks to pick up a new pod. After practically begging and failing to convince her friends to join in on her GoPuff order so that she might feel like it was a group decision, Stevie took the plunge and ordered Juul pods straight to Van Pelt.

It was no easy task. She had to wait an hour while continuing to get messages from GoPuff apologizing for the lateness, and then her courier got confused when the directions said Van Pelt was on Walnut street, so she had to walk all the way behind Van Pelt in somewhat chilly weather to pick them up. When she received her delivery, she found that they had included a package of Sweet Tarts and probiotics to apologize for the delay.

“I hate Sweet Tarts,” Stevie told UTB after she finished her coughing fit. “It was the biggest ‘fuck you’ that GoPuff possibly could have sent me.” When questioned if she would continue to GoPuff her Juul pods, Stevie asked, “well, what am I going to do? Walk to Wawa and just hope they have the flavor I want?”

It was another brutal day in the life of a Juul addict.